Jogging and Treadmills

I've been trying to jog more these days, but it's bee so hot that I've ot been going outside to do it. Last week I tried jogging on the treadmill. It was the first time I ever attempted to do anything more than walking on the treadmill. I was really surprised when it was easy.

I've been trying to jog for about 15-20 minutes at the end of my regular workouts. I am able to set the speed between 4.8 and 5.2 and maintain it! I never thought I would like jogging. Two and half years ago I would have told you that you were insane for suggesting jogging as a form of working out.

As an added bonus to all of this treadmill jogging, the treadmills have tvs with cable. I o'nt have cable, but the treadmill does. I've been able to catch up on shows I've misses since I cancelled my cable. My gym is also 24 hours so I might start going to late night walks just to cathc up on primetime shows!

You know you're dedicated when....

You know you are dedicated to working out when you go to the gym in pants that are 2 sizes too big and a dirty tank top because all of your other workout clothes are in the washer! Yup, that was me today. I was not thinking when I threw in my laundry and I had nothing clean, or dry, to wear! I has to put together whatever I could! I looked like a bag lady.

Oh well, worse has happened! I'm just glad that I have the will power to get to the gym no matter what.

Nice compliments

At the gym the other day I had a nice encounter with this really tall, big muscly dude. I thought he was watching me because he was going to tell me that I was working out incorrectly. Then he walked over and started talking. As usual, I was wrong. The guy didn't want to tell me how to work out. He wanted to give me a compliment. I really need to stop being so skeptical of people at the gym.

Anyway, he just flat out asked me how much weight I've lost. I told him I've lost 127 pounds and he is like, "I've noticed. I'm really proud of you. Keep it up; you're doing great." Then he walked away. I almost didn't have time to say thank you. 

Having a nice compliment was a nice way to start my day!

Where has Janelle been?

I had to get permission from Janelle before writing this blog. I'm glad she said yes, because this topic was just too funny to pass up.

So, I'll try to make this long story short. Well, as short as I can.

Janelle doesn't really go to the gym much anymore. She uses Garage Gym at her house. You know, the garage that her husband converted into a gym so he could train right out of the house? I think I've mentioned it before.

I split my time between the Garage Gym and regular gym that has given us nothing but crap about working out together. Apparently, it looks like Janelle has been "training" me and they just won't stand for it. They threatened our memberships and everything.

They have noticed that she isn't going in there and they have started asking questions as to why. The real reason is because of Garage Gym, but that's really hard to explain. So my easy response is, "she's having a baby." It's also a true response. That's right, Janelle is having a baby and that has made it so much easier for me to explain why they don't see her.

I have been asked by employees, regulars from the gym, people that I have never spoken to that recognize I'm usually with her, etc, etc.

One lady came over and asked where my partner was. I was like, "Oh you know, she's knocked up." :) Another guy asked about "my partner in crime," and one other dude was just like, "where the hell has Janelle been?". I've given them all the standard response, "She's having a baby." Everyone is really excited for her. Hell, I'm excited for her.

It is funny that everyone notices that we are typically together. It is messing up the chi at the gym that I'm working out alone. It is also a little scary that people we don't even know recognize that we are always working out together. They must all think I'm lost without as my regular workout buddy. A few years ago I would have been lost. Now I'm totally ok with solo workouts.

It does bother me though that they employees are so inquisitive as to where she is. They didn't want her there when she was, because she was doing so much "training", but now that she's not they appear to be bothered. I think she made them look good. I bet they told perspective clients that they train her and she competes. I bet now that she isn't there they've lost their star female gym member! (I hate the people that work at my gym....if you couldn't tell.)

It's also funny that I scheduled for Janelle and I to have bodpods and promptly had to call back and cancel  her appointment. You don't really need to measure your body fat when you are pregnant. I will still be getting my bodpod this week and then getting a new meal plan. I'm excited.

Ow! My legs are so sore!

It has been so nice here. The sun has been out and the days have been warm. I look forward to nice weather for two reasons: 1 - I can wear flip flops and 2 - I can workout outside.

On Saturday I worked out at the Reserve. I talk about the Reserve a lot in the Spring and Summer. I spend a lot of time there. I take my walk/jogs there and I also to a lot of hill workouts there. On Saturday I did a hill workout. I never thought I would say this about working out, being outside, and getting sweaty, but it was so amazing. It was so nice to be outside in the sunshine and moving around. I was feeling so cooped up in the gym.

My workout was awesome too. My legs were dead by the time I was done. I could hardly keep my legs functioning to walk back to my car and drive home.

When I woke up on Sunday my calves were soooooo sore. I forgot how sore they got from hopping and running up steps! So naturally, with all that soreness I went for a walk/jog with Janelle on Sunday evening! I was not at all concerned about the soreness in the legs. It was 65 degrees and the sun was shining. I was not going to let a little soreness get in the way of being outside. We managed to get in an hour at the Reserve.

I've missed all the outdoor activities. I'm getting antsy to go outside right now! It's supposed to be beautiful all week. I can't wait for more outdoor workouts. This weather has really put the motivation back into my life! I was feeling pretty touch and go about everything for the past few weeks, but now that I feel like I have a different way to mix up the workouts I'm unstoppable.

Tired

Has anyone else been overly tired lately? I have and I'm not sure why. I seriously get like 7-9 hours of sleep a night! I should be the most energized person out there!

I have been slow to get out of bed for the past few weeks. I'm such a morning person too and I never have trouble getting out of bed!

I think I'm in my winter funk. I hate winter. Winter in Ohio is really grey and nasty. I want to go outside and workout. I'm tired of being cooped up in the gym. My gym is turning into a casting call for the Jersey Shore. There are too many super tanned, over styled hair, chicken legged guys running around. I've not seen that many tribal arm band tattoos in I don't know how long.

I've also been mouthy at the gym. I usually smile and nod when guys tell me how I SHOULD be working out. Lately I've been running my mouth back to them. I also assume that every guy looking at me is wanting to give me unsolicited advise so I just glare at them to make them go away.

So, maybe I'm not tired. Maybe I'm just in a foul mood. Probably both. And this was a much needed bitch fest.

Thanks for noticing!

Some days I struggle to find things to write about that are weight loss and exercise related. I really want to keep this blog focused on things that I do in my life that deal with losing weight. Today was one of those days until I went to the gym.

My gym is usually a hot bed of strange behavior and strange people. I am typically annoyed at the people who talk to me and want to tell me how to lose weight. There was an older gentleman the other day who told me to stop using weights because I was going to get bulky. He was comparing himself lifting weights to me lifting weights. He probably has about 40 years on me....um and he's a dude. I'm pretty sure that his body reacts differently than mine. I'm a young female....not an old dude. I finally told him that I've lost over 110 pounds doing it my way and I'm going to keep doing it my way. It didn't even phase him....(and that's they first time I've tried to use the "well I've lost an ass load of weight, so I think I kinda know what I'm doing line.")

Anyway....he's not what I wanted to talk about.

I've been working out early this week and I've noticed that the gym around 8 AM is full of teachers I had in elementary school! There are a few that I see from time to time and I always wave. (Of course they know who I am after all these years. Elementary school teachers remember everyone, and they have that way of making you feel like a kid again.)

So between yesterday and today I've seen 3 of them! (I know, I'm talking about them like they are wildlife and I'm observing them in their natural habitat!) Anyway, I ended up talking to one of them. She was also one of my many swimming coaches through the years. We caught up about our families and then she told me that she's noticed how much weight I've lost. She said I look great, which I do, and asked how much I've lost.

After that we talked for a minute about how people perceive me now. I told her that everyone wants to know what I've done because they want to do it. When I tell them I've counted calories and worked out for about 2 years they lose interest. Everyone wants a quick fix.

It was nice to talk to her about all of that because she reinforced to me that I'm really doing it the right way. There are a lot of other people who also agree with what I'm doing and that always makes me feel good too. It's that nice realization that there is no quick fix and the work I'm putting in is working and other people are noticing how hard I'm working.

Some people have no clue what they are talking about!

So, this happened to someone I work with....not me, but if it had I would have had a few things to say to this guy!

Ok, basically, someone I work with asked me if I do oblique exercises. I tell her that I do as much ab work as I can, including obliques. Then she wants to know if I use weights on some of my oblique exercises. I tell her that I do use weight on a lot of my ab work, including obliques.

Then she tells me this: She was at the gym doing some oblique exercises with weight. She said it was no more than 10 pounds and it was a workout she has been doing for over a year. The owner (male) of the gym comes out of his office and tells her to stop the exercise that she is doing. He then tells her that she is wasting her time doing that exercise because it won't make her waist smaller. Instead if will make her "bulky". She told him that she had been doing it for over a year. His response was something about how she shouldn't even use weights to workout because she will just get big and she doesn't want to get bulky. Doesn't she just want to slim down??

What a friggin' jerk!!

I told her that he might be the owner of the gym, but he clearly doesn't know anything about working out. There is NO WAY that she or anyone will get "bulky" from using weights. For that to happen you would have to take steroids. I've been lifting and lifting heavy for over 2 years and I have yet to get "bulky". Actually, I've done the opposite of getting bulky. I've lost an entire person from lifting heavy!

I also told her that if working out with weights made you "bulky" then Janelle should look like the Incredible Hulk! I just don't think that Janelle is anywhere near Incredible Hulk status.

Are Ashely and I posing with Janelle or Hulk?
It's just so confusing! All that weight
made us all so bulky!

From Google Images.
The Incredible Hulk or Janelle??
I just can't tell!!

   





Too busy for my own good!

I prefer to be busy. It keeps me more focused. However, lately I've been so busy that getting to the gym has been more of chore than usual! Don't get me wrong; I'm still going to the gym 5-6 days a week, but it's really been difficult.

Overall, this is a bad time of year to be so busy that the gym may have to take a back seat. I've been doing a lot of baking for the Holidays and there have been a lot of people coming to town to visit. I've also been working my butt off and picking up extra hours and jobs whenever I can. All of this leads to a lot of tempataion and the desire to take short cuts. I feel like my self control could crash at any minute. I need to make sure that I'm still getting to the gym on my regular scheduled days.

Things will calm down in January, but until them I'm going to be super busy. On top of everything I'm running out of time to shop for Christmas! I have passed up shopping to go to the gym, but I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to finish shopping for gifts!

I've never looked so forward to a holiday in my life and only because it will be a day that I can't work! I will also have to workout at home that day because the gym will obviously be closed for Christmas. I'm really looking forward to it too because I will get to sit on my butt for a little bit in the morning. I won't have to wake up to the alarm, and that is pretty exciting for me these days!

Here's to hoping I make it through the Holidays without losing my mind or my will power!

Getting out of the routine

So the other day Janelle and I were talking on the phone about the gym and working out and whatnot. We were both talking about how once we are in our routines that it is so easy to just go to the gym and workout. That's why we both try to go at the same time every time we go to the gym. It's like a routine....


Then somehow we started talking about how it is harder to skip the gym than it is to just go. I don't know about her, but I know that it takes more energy and mental anguish to skip a workout than it does to just go and do what I need to do. I swear, it is harder for me to lay on the couch and be lazy than anything else. I don't know if that is true for anyone else. 


I also find that I feel gross if I miss workouts. I feel like a blob. I know Janelle feels the same. It takes more effort and energy making a workout plan than it does to just go workout. Hell, it takes more energy to talk about working out than it does to just workout. 


Basically, the whole conversation was revolving around having a routine and sticking to a routine. It is harder to get out of the routine once I'm into it. I mean really, I have to rearrange my whole day to NOT go to the gym. I have gym time scheduled like work or hang out time with friends. It is an appointment in my day. I don't make plans during that time and I get my crap done. I feel so much better after my workout too. I either get to start my day off awesome, or relieve stress after work. 


I don't want to mess with this routine. I am not a happy person if my gym routine is in shambles. 

Don't ask if you've already decided you aren't going to try!

So, this is something that happened to Janelle the other day, but it's happened to me too and I'm sure it's happened to some of you.

Basically, Janelle ran into a girl at the gym that worked out with us a few times. When she worked out with us she bragged and bragged about how "in shape" and "strong" she is. She said she is so strong that she never gets sore from lifting. She was talking about how she doesn't have any body fat and does so much cardio and is soooooo strong. Truth be told, and not being a judgemental bitch, but she did have body fat, she did have leg fat, she was not sooooo strong, but she did do a lot of cardio.

Anyway, she couldn't hang with us. She could not make it through our workout. She made an excuse to leave and then said wanted to stick to her cardio. In all actuality, she was insanely sore and didn't know how we could possibly still workout from day to day. We never saw her again, until the other day when Janelle ran into her.

Janelle didn't want to talk to her, but she came over to Janelle and wanted to talk. I'm kinda sad that I missed it, because she's been running and doing cardio, but she's gained about 10-15 pounds since we last saw her.

She told Janelle she didn't know why she was gaining weight and said she didn't need to do cardio because she'll get too bulky. She also maintained that she had little to no fat on her body. Then she asked Janelle what she should do to get the weight back off and stay in shape. Janelle told her the basics; eat better food, count calories, and workout more than cardio. She told Janelle that she didn't feel like eating right, but she knew how to if she had to. She also told Janelle that she doesn't need to lift. She then whined for about 10 more minutes and Janelle tried to ignore her.

Here's my issue with this girl and other people who have done this to me:

Don't come whine to me or anyone else who has been busting their butt to lose weight. Don't ask me or anyone else what we are doing, how we are doing it, and how they can get started too and then tell me or anyone else that they know it won't work for them!

For example: "Wow! You look awesome. I need to do something to get myself into shape. What are you doing? I want to do that!"

"Well, I count calories and workout out, a lot. I lift, I do cardio, I do whatever I can."

"Oh, that won't work for me. I've lifted before, it didn't do anything."

"I bet you didn't give it enough time."

"I don't want to get bulky, so I didn't lift heavy, and lifting doesn't work for me. I never get sore. I'm strong already."

"Lifting burns a lot of fat. Give it more time."

"I don't want to do that. I'll take a class or something and I don't really want to count calories."

I should respond to that by saying, "Then why in the hell are you wasting my time asking me questions if you already know you won't do anything different? You have to change something to lose weight. Thank you for wasting my time. Don't ask me to help you and shoot everything down. What I'm doing works. I've lost 110 pounds. Lifting won't make you bulky, I promise. You've watch too many infomercials. There is not quick fix. Get off your ass and move. I will never talk to you about this again because you have wasted 10 minutes of my life that I can't get back."

It is really irritating when people want you to help them and then decide that they know better than you. I know I'm not the only person this has happened to. It bothers me and I know it bothered Janelle. I wonder who else it bothers?

Irritation!

I was struggling to find something to write about today. I thought I was just going to give up. I had nothing to talk about pertaining to working out and losing weight. Then I went to the gym. I was all excited to do a million pull ups today (I have to tell you that I'm being sarcastic, because you can't see the look on my face) then I saw Hat Guy.

Ordinarily, Hat Guy is a source of entertainment, but today he was a source of irritation. I don't know why, but he was more annoying today than he's ever been. I think he was more vulgar too. That might be it. He was really saying nasty things today, and talking about football like he's an expert, and....and being really freaking loud!

I told Janelle that we had to go to the ladies side because I had to get away from him. I was sure I was going to fight him if I had to listen to him anymore. Actually, I think I said, "I'm having visions of going off on Hat Guy. I might get in a fight. Do you think I'd win?"

We went to the ladies side, but it didn't help. The wall doesn't go all the way up and I could still hear him. Janelle just looked at my face and started laughing. I couldn't help it, I started mocking him really loudly. I HOPE he heard me. I was so irritated.

I do have to say though, it was good workout. I think I was channeling all my rage into my workout. You know, since I couldn't really fight Hat Guy.

The workout funk is gone!

My workout funk is over and it has nothing to do with me actually working out, it has to do with....Hat Guy. I often mention Hat Guy, and if you have no clue who he is you can read about him here, here, and here. I know I have mentioned him more, but those posts were specifically about the joy he brings me when I'm working out.

Thank you Hat Guy for being at the gym yesterday. I have not been in the best workout mood lately and it's been a real chore to do anything. Yesterday was no exception.

Janelle and I were actually able to get to the gym at the same time and we had to workout on the coed side because of the equipment we needed.

Hat Guy was out there too and he was just as I expect him to be....loud and obnoxious. He over compensates for everything he does because he's so short. I mean, he's tiny. He's a short guy. He has worked hard to bulk himself up, but only he upper body. His legs are teeny tiny. He talks loud and I mean LOUD. He wants everyone to hear everything he has to say. I used to get super annoyed by him, but then I realized that everything he says is totally rediculious and Janelle and I just laugh at everything he says. Yesterday was no exception.

I don't totally even know how to describe his antics from yesterday. There were a few people that were talking with him and, of course, he was yelling his responses back. (I mean, they were 2 feet away from each other....the only reason to be that loud is to make sure everyone hears you!)

Basically, here's some of what Janelle and I heard.

"Yea man, you can tag along with me when I'm working out. I'll show you how to workout. If you can keep up, you can tag along."

"When do I workout? Whenever man. I have parameters that I stay between, but whatever do in that time is what I do. I mix it up. I do singles, I do all over, I do what I do You've gotta have parameters."

When someone asked about how he learned the best way to workout and the best way to plan workouts he responded, "To understand, you gotta not understand, ya know?"

He continued to talk about the art of understanding by not understanding (that sounds like some ancient Chinese wisdom right there!) and said, "I tried to follow the rules of working out, but coloring inside the lines didn't get me no where!"

He then started to refer back to the guy who wants to "tag along" and see his workouts, "Yea, like that guy who wants to tag along. He can, but he's asking for routine. I don't have routine. I have parameters. I told him, give me two weeks, two weeks of insanity!"

Ok, here are some more random quotes from him:

"I call it ad libbin," in reference to making up workouts.

"Yea, that guy said he never sees me workout my legs. I do my legs everyday. I just do it fast because I hate legs. Open your eyes man, pay attention. I do it everyday."

"The cortisol and testerone don't like each other. They butt heads." This was in reference to lifting and doing cardio in one day and in what order you should complete them. You also have to bump fists with yourself when saying this.

Anyway, it probably seems totally mean that I get joy from the crazy things this guy says, but he makes a complete spectacle of himself. I used to get really annoyed and angry whenever he was around. Now I just laugh. He is completely rediculious......and short.....shorter than me!

Workout funk

I keep whining about how busy I've been and it's been hard to get to the gym. I've still been working out, but I've been doing it at home or outside.

When I workout at home I just don't feel like I really worked out. I usually pop in a dvd and do yoga, pilates, or some random cardio workout, but I just don't feel like I get a full workout. Does that happen to anyone else?

When I workout outside I go to the Reserve around here and I jog or run up and down hills and stairs. I do feel like I get a good workout when I'm there, but I think I'm missing the gym!

I know this may sound crazy, but I think I start to get all out of whack if I don't lift on a regular basis. I've felt pretty unmotivated lately and I've really felt like it's a chore to go workout. I usually don't feel like that. I usually look forward to going to the gym.

Well...I should also explain that Janelle, Ashley, and I have not been on a regular gym schedule for a while now. We've all been going whenever we can fit it into our day and that means we all go at different times. This week should have been back to normal and I think tomorrow  I might be able to make it to the gym when Janelle does.

We've also dropped the early AM cardio for a while too. I think I'm missing the two a days. Really, I think I'm just in a workout funk and I need some new workouts! I know that new workouts are coming and I'm probably going to be complaining next week about how hard the new workouts are.....it's like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't!

Finally, someone that works at the gym that I like!

So, at my "favorite" gym today one of the employees came up to talk to us. At first I was trying to figure out her angle. She kept asking questions about what I've been doing and if Janelle is training me.

I just looked at her and told her all the issues that Janelle, Ashely, and I were having with the employees there. I told her that the trainers were accusing us of training each other and making money while we were working out.

She kept assuring us that she was not trying to get us in trouble or anything sneeky. So we talked with her for a while. She was asking a lot of questions and I didn't really want to get into specifics. I just had a bad vibe about the whole thing.

So we kinda changed the subject to talk about Janelle's upcoming show. She's less than 2 weeks till her show and I can't wait to post pictures! We told her that Janelle competes in figure and that is why we've been pulling all the two a day workouts.

Even though I was skeptical, she was really a nice lady. She asked if she can point me out to potential members. I told her that she could and I think that may have been her angle for talking to us.

Now I don't feel so freaked out at that gym. She was nice and seemed genuine. Hopefully all of the crap at that gym will stop now that we are talking to more of the employees and finding out that they aren't such jerks.

Oh and, I have had no time to upload pictures from that wedding. I have a few cute pictures of me in my cute, borrowed dress. I don't even have time to type this! I think later in the week I will find some time to get myself updated!

I'm sore and it's your fault!

I was going to post about my weekend, but then I heard this at the gym today....

First, let me try to set the scene for you.

Janelle and I were walking out of the gym and to do that we have to go through the lobby area where the "sales" people sit.

One of our favorite (I wish you could see the sarcasm in the word favorite) "sales" people was sitting at his desk with a 2 liter of Diet Mountain Dew and a 12 pack of ramen noodles. He usually has a little foam dart gun too, but I'm not sure where that was today.

Anyway, he was on the phone so we only heard one side of the conversation, but you could totally tell what the person was saying.

Sales guy, "Well who worked you out?" Stops to listen. "Well no, that's normal. You might even be sore for a few more days. You did a good workout."

So the gist of the conversation was someone wondering why they were sore from working out.

I mean, who goes to the gym, works out, and then calls to complain because they are sore? Weirdos.

Janelle had to go back and do a second workout today too. I went for a little bit, but I couldn't stay very long. Janelle calls me after she leaves to tell me that the same sales guy was giving her "advice" on preparing for her upcoming competition.

He was telling her to that she needs to build more muscle by eating half a chicken breast every hour. Then proceeded to pull a poster out of his desk to show her. The post was of a male body builder.

Janelle was like, "Well, he's a body builder and a man. I'm a girl and I do figure."

What a strange day at the gym. I'm sorry that I missed that conversation today. I probably would have laughed uncontrollably.

I'm so tired!

           Yesterday was my first day back to the gym after my little trip to Nebraska and it was exhausting! I only had to do cardio yesterday, but it was awful. I thought I was going to fall off the elliptical! It felt like the first time I ever did cardio on the elliptical.

            I know I was gone for less than a week and I was doubling up on the gym before I left, but I was still messed up yesterday from being out of the usual routine. My cousin and I were even talking about our gym routines and how missing even one day messes both of us up. I knew it was going to be a struggle to get there today and I was preparing myself, but, man, it was worse than I could imagine!

            I always try to cover the clock when I’m doing cardio because it makes it go faster. It’s one of those little mental things I have about NOT seeing the clock; otherwise I spend the whole time staring at the seconds tick away. Anyway, I covered the clock, put on my headphones, and started my 30 minutes of cardio. I was instantly tired and cursing myself for being out of my routine. I lifted my jacket to look at the time clock, because I could have sworn it had been 30 minutes and it had only been 5!

This is how I was feeling yesterday!

            I kept going, but it was difficult. I was just really tired! That was the longest 30 minutes of my life! When the clock hit 30 minutes I was excited to be done, but I went through my usual thought process of doing more cardio or stopping. Once I go for 30 minutes I feel like I should just keep going! So I managed for about 5 more minutes and finally stopped.

            I know my trip was a much needed trip to see Grandma and other family, but it really messed with my routine. As much as I tried to take walks and stay active while I was in Nebraska it still didn’t totally supplement my regular routine. I’m going to spend the rest of this week getting back on track. My routine is more important than I could ever imagine. 

Why don't we have P.E. standards?

          This whole blog is inspired by this Facebook post from a guy I used to teach with. Long story short, he’s a Health/P.E. teacher who is currently working as a sub. Here was his post:

Subbing. 26 students. 14 obese. God forbid you teach about health... yet igneous rock is tested every year

            I think he’s right. I don’t know about all of your states, but in mine there are health standards, but health is not taught in every grade. There are no P.E. standards though. Kids take P.E., but every school is different. Some grades don’t even get to take P.E. and that’s from K-8. High schools have a certain number of P.E. classes you have to take to graduate. All in all, even when they do have P.E. it’s not everyday.

            So, I know that all the subjects are important, but I don’t think there is enough emphasis on Health and P.E. Kids need more time in Health class. They need to learn more about nutrition and what happens to their bodies when they aren’t healthy. They also need more time to run around and be active. They need someone to show them games/sports/exercising. They don’t always get this information at home. It is crucial that they learn about their health and healthy living. This may sound harsh, but igneous rock is going to mean nothing if you are so unhealthy that you are on the brink of death.

            School is supposed to teach kids and get them ready for life. We are supposed to teach them the curriculum and the skills they need to survive out in the real world, but we aren’t taking enough time to teach them about a healthy lifestyle. We do a lot in the schools, but we are falling behind in the world of health and fitness. What do you think?

Did you really just justify that?

           A few days ago I went to the gym a little early in hopes that I would be able to get in a few minutes of tanning. Well, I was wrong. When I walked back to the changing area which is also the tanning waiting area it was packed with people who clearly were only there to tan.

            I decided to just go change and do some extra cardio. So I went into one of the changing stalls and realized that was the first time during the day I had a chance to sit down. I decided to sit and chill for a few minutes and that’s when I heard some fantastic conversations.

            The first one came from a group of ladies waiting to tan. Simply enough they were talking about how they wish there was more time in the day to workout. I was very confused by this conversation. I wanted to go over there and say, “Excuse me, but you’re in a gym. You obviously pay for a membership here. Instead of sitting here for 30 or more minutes waiting to tan why don’t you go walk on the treadmill?” Obviously, I just sat there in my little stall staring at the wall with a look on confusion. I’m pretty good at thinking horrible things, but most of the time I can keep those thoughts to myself. I was in shock that some would say something like that in a gym, but more shocked that the other people waiting were agreeing with it!

            Then they started talking about what they were going to eat for dinner and a different lady that was over there started talking about how she’s been really good lately and she thinks she deserves dessert after dinner. That’s cool; I guess, but she was talking about how she made a pie and brownies because she couldn’t decide what dessert she wanted, and was probably going to eat both. Ok, that’s just friggin’ overkill. Come on now! Really??? Pie and brownies? Maybe some of that time you spent making desserts could have been better spent at the gym. I know I shouldn’t care what these ladies do with their time, but I don’t want to hear about it. The gym is an awful place to have conversations about eating dessert and wanting to workout but never finding the time. To me, you just look silly.

            The other conversation I overheard is not really a weight loss conversation, but a phone conversation that really got my blood boiling. So a woman was changing in the next stall and she was on the phone. (Side note: our gym has a no cell phone policy. There are signs posted all over the place. No one pays attention to the signs. They are there so the other members don’t have to be bothered by other people chatting it up on the phone while at the gym. I wish this lady would have followed the sign.)  So I’m gathering that this lady was talking to her child because she was asking about games, conditioning, practice, and fees. Anyway, here is what I heard.

Lady on the phone: “Well wasn’t the last game last night?” (pause) “What do you mean conditioning starts tomorrow?” (pause) “No basketball is over.” (pause) “So baseball conditioning starts tomorrow?” (pause) “I don’t have time for this sh*t. I have a life too.” (pause) “Well, I just don’t even know. How much is this sh*t gonna cost me?” (pause) “Well, we’re gonna have to talk this over. Don’t expect me to come to all of these games too. I have to workout. I’m hanging up.”

            Ok, I’m going to omit my thoughts about this lady’s parenting skills, but what flippin’ message are you sending to your kid? I’m glad that you think it’s important to workout, but you need to pass that same message to your kids. At least this lady’s kid wants to play sports. Let him! Encourage him! Don’t let him develop lazy, unhealthy habits and become an obese adult! I really, really wanted to say a few words to this lady, but I just glared at her when we both walked out of the stalls.

            So, the gym is never a dull place. There is always something going on. After I heard those conversations I was frustrated for a multitude of reasons, so I tried to channel all of my frustration into my workout. I think it worked because I was wiped out after I left the gym. I still wanted to tan, but I figured I would snap if I had to sit, wait, and listen to people whine about wishing they had time to workout!

Hey man, where's your hat?

             So, I wrote a blog, Hey man, nice hat, about his dude at the gym that always wears his cool hat and talks super loud! He used to annoy the crap out of Janelle, Ashley, and I, but now I hope he’s at the gym because his stories bring hours of entertainment. Yesterday at the gym was one of the best! Let me give you a few updates about “Hat Guy” before I tell you the joy he brought me yesterday at the gym.

             He said in the past that he always wears his hat because it would be like leaving the house without his pants on. No joke. He compared forgetting his hat to forgetting his pants. Well, lately he’s not been wearing the hat, but he’s managed to wear pants. Thank God. I thought he might be bald, but he does have a full head of hair.

It's like forgetting to put my pants on. 

Also he’s been wearing a different kind of muscle tee. He’s been wearing the kinds that are cut really far into the chest to show off his pecks. Well, he’s been doing that to show off his pierced nipples. I think they may be recently pierced. I have actually not seen the piercing. It was actually made known to me by Janelle via text message on a day when we could not all get to the gym at the same time. I was still at work and I nearly fell out of my chair when I read the text.

Just imagine a less buff
guy  with more peck and
nipple ring hanging out.

Ok, now you’re caught up on “Hat Guy”. Yesterday we were at the gym at our usual Saturday time and there are typically only older guys there at that time. These aren’t just any old guys though. These are guys that have been going to the gym longer than I’ve been alive and they are still pretty buff for old dudes.

First he was talking about going to bars with “Ladies Night” and making a “killin’ pickin’ up the chicks”. Ok, this guy looks like Ken Jennings, but only a little buffer. I think Ken has a better chance at pickin’ up the hoes than Hat Guy.

Ken Jennings, 74 time Jeopardy! champ,
or Hat Guy from the gym?

            Hat guy was talking about what he eats for breakfast. Please keep in mind that he was on the other side of the gym from us; roughly half a football field and we could hear him perfectly. He’s a super loud talker. For breakfast he has a bowl of fruit and 2 protein shakes; not 1, but 2 protein shakes. It’s very important that you know and so does everyone else that he has 2 protein shakes.

            Then he started talking about other gyms in the area. He started talking about a gym that is a racquetball gym and also has a bar. He said, “You know people that play racquetball, they like to drink. I could never get into racquetball. Who wants to hit a ball into a wall anyway? I went because I enjoy a cold beer after a workout.” Yea, he probably drinks his beer with his protein shakes. Weirdo. Then he said, “When I think of racquetball I think of Olivia Newton John and shit; all wearing leg warmers and shit.” This other dude looked at him and was like, “Why are you talking about Olivia Newton John?” I almost fell over I was laughing so hard.

Why do you know so much about
 Olivia and her leg warmers, Hat Guy?

            He still wasn’t done talking about gyms though. After that he said he was an old Gym Rat at Gold’s Gym and World Gym. Yea right! How does he have time to go to all of these gyms? He has now mentioned 3 different gyms, but is currently working out at a 4^th. Gym memberships are expensive. I just don’t think he can afford it. He is almost always at the gym when we are and that’s a lot. How does he have time to make it to the racquetball gym, Gold’s and World? They are all pretty far apart too. I think he must draw unemployment because he seems to have a lot of time on his hands, and I think he drives from gym to gym all day pretending to work out!

Hat Guy, shown above with
the blue dumbbells is the more
common, small breed of gym rat.

            This guy is annoying, but it’s also the entertaining kind of annoying. The people around him roll their eyes when he talks, but he remains oblivious. It’s honestly entertaining. I look forward for him being there when I am!