Getting personal.....

I'm ready for all of my teaching jobs to kick back into gear! I'm ready for my routine to be more routine! 

Now that summer is winding down I really feel like I can get back on track. I've been slacking a little too much on the meal plan. I've been maintaining and not losing. I need to and want to lose this last little bit of weight. 

Honestly, I've been happy....for about the past 6 months. Really happy. I've not been mentioning it, but I've been seeing someone for the past 6 months and I couldn't be happier. He is the best guy I've ever dated. 

He's the first guy I've dates since I've started all these meal plans and working out and whatnot. I've been learning how to eat on schedule, work out, and have a functional adult relationship with this guy in my life!

I've got the working out under control, but I'm still figuring out the whole eating thing again. He knows what I've been doing. I was upfront from the first day I met him about doing everything on a schedule. The whole discussion about mass weight loss came a few weeks later. 

I've gotta tell ya, it's been easy to have him in my life. Like I said, the whole working out thing is not an issue. It's the food that is tripping me up. And I've also gotta tell ya, he makes me feel absolutely beautiful; saggy skin and all.

I used to worry about how I appeared to other people; especially guys. Now, I could care less. He thinks I look great in jeans and a t-shirt. 

However, it can make it hard to focus because he is always making me feel so good about how I look. It can make it easy to "cheat". I know, I know, what a silly thing to complain about.......he makes me feel great, and it's hard to focus on my eating.....blah, blah....I'm sure you all just threw up a little in your mouths. 

I've had an awesome summer hanging out with him. He wants to do active things too. It's not problem to get him to go for a walk, play putt putt, go bowling, etc.... but I'm ready for there to be less free time and more work time! I think once my schedule fills back up I will be able to focus better on the meal plans. 

Oh...his name is Josh, and he's the awesome. 

Slow changes

Over the past few months I have gone from working out with Janelle for about every workout to only working out with her maybe twice in a two week period. 


I didn't realize that this had completely happened until yesterday when I sent Janelle a text telling her that we have to plan a Wednesday workout and if not we won't ever have time to workout together.


This has been a slow change over the past few months. Heck, I bet this change has been happening for about a year, but it's just been so gradual that no one was realizing it. Our routine was to workout in the afternoon after we were off work and in the summer we would workout in the early morning. 


I'm able to workout alone, I just don't like it as much. I need a lot more will power and dedication to make it happen. I feel like I don't push myself enough and I also feel like I forget things that I should be doing. I have to keep reminding myself that I do like to workout, even if it's alone, and I have to stay focused for what I really want.


I prefer to workout with Janelle because I know a get a good workout and I get some girl talk time. 


I think that's what I'm really missing right now; girl talk with Janelle. Workouts are about the only time I see Janelle these days and the only time we really get to talk and vent about work, working out, family, etc. Our schedules have gone totally flip flopped from each other. We don't really have a choice to workout together right now. 


Really. this is just a whole lot of whining because I'm losing my regular workout partner. These days we have to literally make appointments with each other just to see each other and get a workout in with each other. 


I'm trying to stay positive though; Summer is almost here. I will have a little more time and Janelle will have a lot more time. Hopefully we will find common time to workout then....

Thinking

Lately I've been not obsessed with losing weight. I am still doing my own thing with the meal plans and workouts and Zach and Janelle, and all that, but I had a strange thought the other day....


That thought was: I think I'm happy. I think I'm happy with my weight. I think I'm happy with how I look. I think I'm just happy. 


Now, that might be strange for some of you. I'm sure you're happy people. I've just spent so much of my life being unhappy with my appearance. I was never really vocal about it. I was more just in my head about it. I would have very negative thoughts about how I looked and how I felt, but I never had a damn clue how to fix it. 


I am very happy these days. I still want to get to my goal, but I think I've hit a level where I'm OK with where I'm at right now. If everything stopped right here, right now I would be ok and happy. 


I said the other week that I have 29 pounds till my goal and I still want to get there. It is important to me to meet a goal and I will meet that goal. I also want to have some skin removed, eventually. I used to obsess over that too, but in the past few weeks it has seemed less important. 


So, with all this happy talk aside, here's what makes me nervous: Now that I am "happy" will I lose my motivation? Am I going to start slacking off? I've been really busy the past few weeks and it has been a really big task to get my 5 or 6 workouts in each week. I've still managed to make it happen, but I've been having thoughts like, "Oh, I'll just go tomorrow or I'll get there later." I've pushed those thoughts aside and still done what needs to be done but what happens on the day that I believe my sabotage thoughts?


I'm also worried that all this happiness will lead to bad food decisions! I've had a few beers and drinks here and there over the past few weeks. I've been responsible about it and counted my calories and what-not, but I'm worried that I'm going to relax too much!


So, I know everyone strives to be happy, but I feel like I need to stay in state of panic and paranoia so I can stay focused!

Spring Break?

Honest to God, I have so many jobs that it's difficult to keep them straight. I'm in the midst of transitioning from one job to another as well, and when I say transition I really mean quit. I'm not doing a good job though. I really want to quit one job for the other, but I think I'm going to find a way to do them all....sigh. Who needs 4 jobs? Me, apparently. 


Anyway, it's been Spring Break from one of my teaching jobs. I was looking forward to getting things done this week. I wanted to go shopping, do extra workouts, clean my house, hang out, be cool....you know, all the things I never have time for!


Well, did I have time to do any of these things? Nope. I filled my down time with meetings for other jobs, extra hours at other jobs, conference calls, etc. I did get to do some cleaning and catch up on some Netflix, but I did not get any extra workouts in. In fact, I'm pretty sure I missed a few workouts this week! Totally. Bummed. Out. 


I also wanted to spend a day catching up on blogs and having some bloggy fun time. I have not had time to do these things! I did manage to find a little time this morning, but just not enough time....


Anyway, workouts have been going well, new meal plan is still in the works, I'm getting some spring fever and I do feel my focus waning, but I'm trying like hell to stay on the straight and narrow! 


I feel like this has been a huge complain fest, but I'm really feeling ok. I mean, who am I to complain about having so much employment??? Crazy, right? I'm lucky to be so busy with work and still find time to workout, eat right, and have a life! Also, how many other people really get Spring, Winter, and Summer Break? I'm truly a lucky lady.....and a whiner/complainer. 


I'm hoping to have a relaxing weekend with my family and friends. I'm hoping to get in some good workouts as well. 


****If you're new here or newish, leave a comment and tell me about you blog (if you have one). I'd love to check it out!!****

Too busy for my own good!

I prefer to be busy. It keeps me more focused. However, lately I've been so busy that getting to the gym has been more of chore than usual! Don't get me wrong; I'm still going to the gym 5-6 days a week, but it's really been difficult.

Overall, this is a bad time of year to be so busy that the gym may have to take a back seat. I've been doing a lot of baking for the Holidays and there have been a lot of people coming to town to visit. I've also been working my butt off and picking up extra hours and jobs whenever I can. All of this leads to a lot of tempataion and the desire to take short cuts. I feel like my self control could crash at any minute. I need to make sure that I'm still getting to the gym on my regular scheduled days.

Things will calm down in January, but until them I'm going to be super busy. On top of everything I'm running out of time to shop for Christmas! I have passed up shopping to go to the gym, but I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to finish shopping for gifts!

I've never looked so forward to a holiday in my life and only because it will be a day that I can't work! I will also have to workout at home that day because the gym will obviously be closed for Christmas. I'm really looking forward to it too because I will get to sit on my butt for a little bit in the morning. I won't have to wake up to the alarm, and that is pretty exciting for me these days!

Here's to hoping I make it through the Holidays without losing my mind or my will power!

Workout funk

I keep whining about how busy I've been and it's been hard to get to the gym. I've still been working out, but I've been doing it at home or outside.

When I workout at home I just don't feel like I really worked out. I usually pop in a dvd and do yoga, pilates, or some random cardio workout, but I just don't feel like I get a full workout. Does that happen to anyone else?

When I workout outside I go to the Reserve around here and I jog or run up and down hills and stairs. I do feel like I get a good workout when I'm there, but I think I'm missing the gym!

I know this may sound crazy, but I think I start to get all out of whack if I don't lift on a regular basis. I've felt pretty unmotivated lately and I've really felt like it's a chore to go workout. I usually don't feel like that. I usually look forward to going to the gym.

Well...I should also explain that Janelle, Ashley, and I have not been on a regular gym schedule for a while now. We've all been going whenever we can fit it into our day and that means we all go at different times. This week should have been back to normal and I think tomorrow  I might be able to make it to the gym when Janelle does.

We've also dropped the early AM cardio for a while too. I think I'm missing the two a days. Really, I think I'm just in a workout funk and I need some new workouts! I know that new workouts are coming and I'm probably going to be complaining next week about how hard the new workouts are.....it's like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't!

Pictures and random info...

I finally have a second to sit down and put some new pictures up. I was having such an awesome time at the wedding last weekend that I didn't even get a good full body picture to post. Oh well. I still look cute in my dress. You know, the outfit that is entirely borrowed except the shoes.

Danielle's dress, Janelle's sweater, and
my dress up Flava Flav clock.

I totally cropped Kat out of this picture.

Right after the wedding, when I was
still warm and sunny in Ohio.

There was totally a dress up
photo booth. There was
no way I was getting out
of that reception without
some photo booth pictures!

More photo booth fun time!

So, it's been freezing cold the past few days. Rainy, nasty, cloudy, nasty, windy, nasty, yucky, and gross. I'm already over winter and I'm pretty sure it hasn't officially started yet. Two days ago I had to break out the knee high socks to stay warm. Today I had to go buy a coat. I hate coats. They are bulky and, I swear, they never fit right. So, now I have knee high socks and a coat to, hopefully, keep me warm. I'm still fighting the urge to turn on the heat. I really try to make it to November, but I might fail this year.

This is all a random mess of information!

So, I've been busy. Really busy...and I'm not even sure why.

I've been working out twice a day with Janelle and working at all 3 jobs. I'm looking to add a 4th...not joke. I'm trying to get a 4th job and I already know that it won't interfere with my workouts. Perfect.

Last week....or maybe 2 weeks ago, I'm not sure. I think I'm losing time these days! Anyway, Janelle and I were at the Reserve running and hopping up the stairs. We were getting tired of that so we decided to jog. We seriously didn't get too far because there were geese blocking the path. They would not move. They would also not make that annoying honking sound that they make. They were silent and staring at us. It was creepy. Not as creepy as the deer that stalk me when I jog alone, but it was still creepy. (If you missed my ranting about deer you can read about it here and here.)

At one point Janelle asked me why the seemed to be spreading out. I told her they were going to circle around us and attack. We decided to just turn around and jog the other direction. 




It is safe to assume that nature and I do not get along!

 

Yesterday, I was at one of my many jobs and I heard the voice of a teacher that I talk to all the time. We stay in touch on FB and I haven't seen her since the end of last school year. I walked into the hall to say hey. I waved at her and she turned around and walked off. She didn't recognize me. That is awesome and sad at the same time! I'm need to FB her and tell her that she totally blew me off because she didn't even know it was me waving at her!

So, today I have a wedding to attend. This wedding is going to be awesome. Two people that I love very much are FINALLY getting married. I was really excited to go out and buy a new dress, but I literally had zero time to get that done. I ened up borrowing a dress from Danielle, a cardigan and jewelry from Janelle, and a clutch from Kelly. I have put together an entire outfit from borrowed things that I would ordinarily never wear, except the shoes; the shoes are really mine.

I will have to post pictures. Hopefully I will have time to do that tomorrow. I'm pretty much blowing off all responsibility today so tomorrow I might be super busy. I typically run all of my errands on Saturday, but who wants to run errands when you can spend the morning getting all pretty for a wedding?