Just some random babbling.

I finished my 10 weeks of running. By the end I was able to jog over 3 miles in my half hour. I was pretty impressed with that. I was jogging on the treadmill, and I was using an incline of 1.0. SOOOO, now that I've finished, I've been trying to think of how to continue jogging and using some kind of plan. I decided that I would jog outside this week, because it's been so nice. 

Well, jogging on a treadmill and jogging outside are very different! I was struggling to jog after 6 minutes! I figured it would feel different, but I didn't think it would feel like the first time I ever jogged! Next week will not be as nice, and the weather is probably just going to be awful from this point on too. I'm going to have to hit up the outdoor jogging when Spring rolls around. 

It's kinda funny, I was so against running on treadmills. Now, I only want to run on the treadmill. 

Anyway, I was at the gym this morning and I was thinking about how tired I was. It took everything in me to make it to the gym this morning. I was trying to come up with any reason to not go to the gym. Well, I went anyway; I was feeling guilty and I had to go. About half way through my workout, I started getting that awake, refreshed feeling. I love that I can go into the gym so tired and unmotivated, and part way through a workout that energetic feeling comes to me. 

I had that same feeling when I was jogging outside the other day too. I was in such a terrible mood; everything around me was like nails on a chalkboard. I decided to jog outside, and even though it was the worst jog I've ever had, I felt fantastic when I was done. My terrible mood went away. I was able to enjoy the rest of my day. 

I know that most of you reading this know what I'm talking about. I feel so accomplished and happy after I go workout. It's the best feeling. I bet that's why I keep going back. 

Overall, I've been pretty busy. It's been tricky to get to the gym some days, but I rely so much on my routine and doing things in the same order during the day. Having my daily routines makes everything so much easier, even though each day has a different routine!

And.....I'm still running.

Ok, the running is working out for me. It's only 3 days a week and each week is different. I've seen and heard that this is a lot like the Couch to 5k set up. That's cool if it is, but I'm not running a 5k at the end! I just want to run to add more into my workouts. 

So, I'm in week 6 right now. Honestly, I think following this weekly running schedule is making time go faster. I'm not sure how I've already done this for 6 weeks. 

At the end of the 10 weeks I need to find a different thing to follow. I need something on paper that is telling me what to do. I'm going to do some research on the Internet. I can find anything out there!

Overall, when I'm running/jogging I am in disbelief the entire time. I honestly can't believe that I'm running. I can't believe that I'm pushing myself. I can't believe that I'm pushing the little button to increase my speed and push myself to run a little further each time I run. 

It's crazy, totally crazy. I almost want to tell everyone that walks by me how amazing it is.

I do get a lot of time to people watch on the treadmill. I love to people watch and my gym has no shortage of interesting characters. I bet everyone else sees a bunch of interesting characters at their gym too. 

Sometimes I can't believe what people wear to the gym, talk about at the gym, or even some of the crazy workouts they do at the gym. Sometimes I think I'm being "Punked" and that douche Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out. 

Slow changes

Over the past few months I have gone from working out with Janelle for about every workout to only working out with her maybe twice in a two week period. 


I didn't realize that this had completely happened until yesterday when I sent Janelle a text telling her that we have to plan a Wednesday workout and if not we won't ever have time to workout together.


This has been a slow change over the past few months. Heck, I bet this change has been happening for about a year, but it's just been so gradual that no one was realizing it. Our routine was to workout in the afternoon after we were off work and in the summer we would workout in the early morning. 


I'm able to workout alone, I just don't like it as much. I need a lot more will power and dedication to make it happen. I feel like I don't push myself enough and I also feel like I forget things that I should be doing. I have to keep reminding myself that I do like to workout, even if it's alone, and I have to stay focused for what I really want.


I prefer to workout with Janelle because I know a get a good workout and I get some girl talk time. 


I think that's what I'm really missing right now; girl talk with Janelle. Workouts are about the only time I see Janelle these days and the only time we really get to talk and vent about work, working out, family, etc. Our schedules have gone totally flip flopped from each other. We don't really have a choice to workout together right now. 


Really. this is just a whole lot of whining because I'm losing my regular workout partner. These days we have to literally make appointments with each other just to see each other and get a workout in with each other. 


I'm trying to stay positive though; Summer is almost here. I will have a little more time and Janelle will have a lot more time. Hopefully we will find common time to workout then....

Thinking

Lately I've been not obsessed with losing weight. I am still doing my own thing with the meal plans and workouts and Zach and Janelle, and all that, but I had a strange thought the other day....


That thought was: I think I'm happy. I think I'm happy with my weight. I think I'm happy with how I look. I think I'm just happy. 


Now, that might be strange for some of you. I'm sure you're happy people. I've just spent so much of my life being unhappy with my appearance. I was never really vocal about it. I was more just in my head about it. I would have very negative thoughts about how I looked and how I felt, but I never had a damn clue how to fix it. 


I am very happy these days. I still want to get to my goal, but I think I've hit a level where I'm OK with where I'm at right now. If everything stopped right here, right now I would be ok and happy. 


I said the other week that I have 29 pounds till my goal and I still want to get there. It is important to me to meet a goal and I will meet that goal. I also want to have some skin removed, eventually. I used to obsess over that too, but in the past few weeks it has seemed less important. 


So, with all this happy talk aside, here's what makes me nervous: Now that I am "happy" will I lose my motivation? Am I going to start slacking off? I've been really busy the past few weeks and it has been a really big task to get my 5 or 6 workouts in each week. I've still managed to make it happen, but I've been having thoughts like, "Oh, I'll just go tomorrow or I'll get there later." I've pushed those thoughts aside and still done what needs to be done but what happens on the day that I believe my sabotage thoughts?


I'm also worried that all this happiness will lead to bad food decisions! I've had a few beers and drinks here and there over the past few weeks. I've been responsible about it and counted my calories and what-not, but I'm worried that I'm going to relax too much!


So, I know everyone strives to be happy, but I feel like I need to stay in state of panic and paranoia so I can stay focused!

Where has Janelle been?

I had to get permission from Janelle before writing this blog. I'm glad she said yes, because this topic was just too funny to pass up.

So, I'll try to make this long story short. Well, as short as I can.

Janelle doesn't really go to the gym much anymore. She uses Garage Gym at her house. You know, the garage that her husband converted into a gym so he could train right out of the house? I think I've mentioned it before.

I split my time between the Garage Gym and regular gym that has given us nothing but crap about working out together. Apparently, it looks like Janelle has been "training" me and they just won't stand for it. They threatened our memberships and everything.

They have noticed that she isn't going in there and they have started asking questions as to why. The real reason is because of Garage Gym, but that's really hard to explain. So my easy response is, "she's having a baby." It's also a true response. That's right, Janelle is having a baby and that has made it so much easier for me to explain why they don't see her.

I have been asked by employees, regulars from the gym, people that I have never spoken to that recognize I'm usually with her, etc, etc.

One lady came over and asked where my partner was. I was like, "Oh you know, she's knocked up." :) Another guy asked about "my partner in crime," and one other dude was just like, "where the hell has Janelle been?". I've given them all the standard response, "She's having a baby." Everyone is really excited for her. Hell, I'm excited for her.

It is funny that everyone notices that we are typically together. It is messing up the chi at the gym that I'm working out alone. It is also a little scary that people we don't even know recognize that we are always working out together. They must all think I'm lost without as my regular workout buddy. A few years ago I would have been lost. Now I'm totally ok with solo workouts.

It does bother me though that they employees are so inquisitive as to where she is. They didn't want her there when she was, because she was doing so much "training", but now that she's not they appear to be bothered. I think she made them look good. I bet they told perspective clients that they train her and she competes. I bet now that she isn't there they've lost their star female gym member! (I hate the people that work at my gym....if you couldn't tell.)

It's also funny that I scheduled for Janelle and I to have bodpods and promptly had to call back and cancel  her appointment. You don't really need to measure your body fat when you are pregnant. I will still be getting my bodpod this week and then getting a new meal plan. I'm excited.

Getting out of the routine

So the other day Janelle and I were talking on the phone about the gym and working out and whatnot. We were both talking about how once we are in our routines that it is so easy to just go to the gym and workout. That's why we both try to go at the same time every time we go to the gym. It's like a routine....


Then somehow we started talking about how it is harder to skip the gym than it is to just go. I don't know about her, but I know that it takes more energy and mental anguish to skip a workout than it does to just go and do what I need to do. I swear, it is harder for me to lay on the couch and be lazy than anything else. I don't know if that is true for anyone else. 


I also find that I feel gross if I miss workouts. I feel like a blob. I know Janelle feels the same. It takes more effort and energy making a workout plan than it does to just go workout. Hell, it takes more energy to talk about working out than it does to just workout. 


Basically, the whole conversation was revolving around having a routine and sticking to a routine. It is harder to get out of the routine once I'm into it. I mean really, I have to rearrange my whole day to NOT go to the gym. I have gym time scheduled like work or hang out time with friends. It is an appointment in my day. I don't make plans during that time and I get my crap done. I feel so much better after my workout too. I either get to start my day off awesome, or relieve stress after work. 


I don't want to mess with this routine. I am not a happy person if my gym routine is in shambles.