Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Hey man, nice hat.

Ok, anyone who spends any amount of time at a co-ed gym has seen a ton of crazy things and crazy people. I could write a book just about the crazy people I encounter at the gym, but a short blog will have to do for now and focusing on one guy will have to do as well.

So, let my try to paint a picture of this guy for you. You’ve all seen a guy like this. In a nut shell, he can be described as having “short man syndrome”. This guy is short; probably around 5'5”. He is fairly muscular, but not as muscular as he thinks he is. He only works his upper body and not his lower body. He has little chicken legs. He wears muscle tanks that are too big and walks with his upper body puffed up. My sister likes to call it “invisible lat syndrome”. He also wears a knit snow cap all the time, but as silly as I think he looks, it’s not just his appearance and hat that annoy me. 

He is the loudest, most obnoxious dude in the gym. He is always trying to give out workout advice, but not even in a nice way. He has that mentality that he knows everything and you know nothing. Most of his advice is unsolicited as well.

One day he was telling another guy, who was twice the size he was and clearly this guy knew what he was doing, but this tiny guy really wanted to give him “advice”. He was telling him, loudly, to eat Kobe Beef because it’s a white meat cow, but the stores don’t tell you that. He then was telling this same guy that his form was off, and he needed to use lighter weights. Another time he told a group of very obviously fit guys that you can’t work out 2 days in a row because the blood won’t go to the muscles you just worked out.

Those situations are so funny because this guy has no clue what he’s talking about. He was giving advice to guys that had more knowledge on lifting than he does. It’s also so funny because this guy stands around giving out unwanted advice, but never seems to lift a weight. He stands near a lot of weights, but never seems to use them.

I think my favorite thing about this guy was when we heard him talking about his hat that he always wears. It was obvious that the guy who asked him was making fun of him and asked why he always wears the hat. He responded in a very matter-of-fact way, “I wear this hat everywhere. It would be like leaving the house without my pants on!” Janelle looked at me and really quietly and slowly said back to me, “without…his…pants…on.” We both just laughed and I’ve got news for that guy; forgetting your hat and forgetting your pants are two very different things.

I just can’t believe how loud he talks. He wants everyone to hear him. He wants to be knowledgeable, but he’s not. He’s also not very nice around Janelle and I; probably because we can lift more than him.

There are other guys like him, but he’s the worst one we’ve come across. There are other guys that are loud and talk about inappropriate things, but this guy takes the cake. Anyone who has spent any amount of time in the gym has come across a guy like this. Maybe other people don’t notice these things, but I’m a people watcher. I’m constantly checking my surroundings and the gym is an awesome place to watch all kinds of people. 


  1. Dude I think I DATED that guy!!!! Yes, there is at least one in every gym. Yukeroo. Sounds like he is trying to account for a WHOLE LOTTA shortages-not just his height.

    Polar's Mom

  2. hahahahahaha pants and a hat ARE very different! I love this one... literally can't stop laughing

  3. Polar, I agree! I think he is trying to compensate for a lot of different things!! Ha ha!

  4. LOL I haven't been going to the gym that long to notice anyone like that yet, but I certainly be keeping away from them if I do LOL

  5. hahahahahahahahahahahaha too funny!