Oh, how my mentality has changed

Maybe this has happened to some of you too. 


I started working out before I started eating on a meal plan. I to enjoy working out, but I really enjoy going to the gym with Janelle and Ashley. I've said it a bunch of time in the past, but working out with friends is the best way to work out. It's like mini therapy sessions each time I go to the gym. I didn't like going to the gym alone though. If we couldn't go together, I wouldn't go to the gym. I would also hope for easy workouts and I would hope that we didn't do anything new! 


Over the past nearly two years that has changed. Now I don't mind going to the gym alone and I don't mind doing new things (unless it's Zumba). I also don't mind going down the Dam/Reserve and walking the trails alone either. Sometimes I actually look forward to going alone and just spending that time by myself and getting things done on my own. 


Other things have changed too. I can't just sit and watch TV anymore. I can sit on the couch for about 10 to 15 minutes before I get antsy and feel like I'm wasting my time. Now when I watch TV I find something to do on the floor. You know, like crunches or stretching. Honestly, I can't just watch TV at all. If I watch TV there is some other activity going on. I spend a lot of  time working on the computer or some other form of work if I'm watching TV. 


That's really how this whole blog came about. I was on the floor doing some crunches and watching reruns of my favorite show. I was thinking about my day tomorrow and trying to hammer out a schedule for myself. Then I was thinking about how I'm going to walk in the AM and lift in the PM. Then I was thinking about how our workouts were getting more intense and I smiled. I was getting excited about how hard and draining the workouts are getting. I was thinking, "Yes, I'm going to lose so much weight." 


This post is all over the place, but I really write just how I think and speak. If you think it's hard to follow along from paragraph to paragraph, you would be freaked out by listening to me in person!  Ha!

My second favorite day of the year.

I don't usually post about anything other than weight loss here on my blog, but today is my second favorite day of the year. 


On August 30, 2005 I was officially told by my Gyn-Oncologist that I was cancer free. So today is my 6 year cancer free day! 


So, let me back up a little. I've commented a time or two that I had cancer, but I don't usually elaborate on it. I'm not sure how much I'm going to elaborate about it now. It's not that I don't want to talk about it, because I will tell anyone the whole story from start to finish if they ask. It's more because I don't want to lost sight of what my blog is really about....you know, losing weight. 


Anyway, I was 22, living with my friend, and enjoying my early 20's.....really, I was really, really enjoying my time. 


One day I woke up in blinding pain in my right side. Later my room mate and one of our closest friends convinced me that it was really weird to have that kind of pain out of no where.  They really talked me into going to the doctor. 


Long story short, a doctor in the office, my doctor, and an OB/GYN all told me I had a fibroid cyst on my uterus. I had tests and the whole 9 yards. They told me that I should be fine and millions of women live with fibroids. I, however, was not fine. I couldn't eat because I would puke like 10 minutes after eating and I was still in pain. So, I pushed for them to do surgery. That was all in February of 2005. 


On March 22, 2005 I had surgery. When I was in surgery they realized that I didn't have a fibroid on my uterus, but cancer in my right ovary. It turned out to be a yolk sac tumor. I was diagnosed at stage 1C. I was really the last to know that I had cancer because I was knocked out when I was diagnosed. My family knew before I did. (Total other side note, my dad had been diagnosed with cancer in November of 2003, so it was a huge, sad mess when I was diagnosed too. The day I was diagnosed was actually the day that my dad was having his retirement party/ceremony for work.) 


I had to have 6 rounds of chemo. I did four of them in house (I checked into the hospital and was on a continuous chemo drip for about 3.5 days) and I did the last 2 rounds out of the chemo room at my doctors office. 


It truly is a crazy story and sometimes I think it was happening to someone else, because I'm not quite sure how I made it through. Through everything I did realize that I was strong person who could really handle anything and that I have a totally amazing family and totally amazing friends. People were showing up out of the woodwork to help me and support me.

 The moral of the story is to listen to your body! If I had not pushed for surgery the doctors would have let it go. I was at such a low diagnosis stage because I knew something didn't feel right. The doctors basically told me that the morning I woke up in blinding pain was the time the tumor started growing. 


So, that's my little side story that has nothing to do with my desire to lose weight. You never know though, I did join the gym after I found out I was in remission. I mean, it was about another 4-ish years before I started getting serious about the gym, but hey, we all have to start somewhere. 

BEST UPDATE EVER, the pictures!

My computer has not been cooperating with me lately. It's really just old, but I don't want to spend the money on a new one. So I probably shouldn't complain!


Anyway, I really wanted to post pictures that we took at the gym yesterday. Now my computer has decided to play nice and I can get them posted! 

Janelle....who is always working hard.
Oh and Zach, if you look closely in the mirror
you can see "the Historian" chillin' on the bench. 

I posted this on Facebook to tell everyone that
I just found out I lost 101 pounds. 

Truthfully, I'm doing nothing in this picture.
The ball was so deflated that there was
really nothing I could do with it. It was really
comfortable to lay on though. 

Ashley working hard. She really was too.
Ashley always works hard at the gym, but
we like to give her a hard time.
Love you, Ashley!

Not the best picture! Oh well!

BEST UPDATE EVER!

So, side note....I've been really busy and I have not had a lot of time to write blogs or read posts from other people. Sorry. I will get back to normal soon and catch up on reading. 


Now onto my update. 


Janelle did my measurements today. I had no change in measurements from last month. Oh well. I'll get over it...and here's why...


I weighed myself today and I have officially lost 101 pounds! Woo freakin' hoo!  That means I have lost 8 pounds since last month. My new meal plan is amazing and I am back on freakin' track. 


It's really been a long time coming. I've made a lot of changes to my daily life and I didn't think I would be able to stick to those changes. Mainly I didn't think I was going to be able to stick to the meal plans. The working out did not bother me at all, but the eating on a schedule and not eating what I want when I want was really upsetting at first! I was so sad with out my fancy coffee and beer and liquor and eating at fancy restaurants.....oh I was so sad! (If you go back and read some of my first posts I make myself sound like a drunk.)


Now I know I can still do that when I'm done losing weight and only maintaining. Obviously, it will all still be done in moderation. 


I'm not done though. I do still have weight to lose and I'm still working on it as we speak. This was just a big milestone for me. I've been under 200 pounds for a while now, but that just didn't seem as a big deal to me. This whole 101 pounds lost business is a huge deal for me though!


Also, I wanted to post pictures from today at the gym, but my computer is just being a real a-hole. It's just so slow these days. I know I need a new one, but I'm just putting it off! I'll get the pictures up soon!

New job

I started a new job, so I've been in meetings for the past few days. 


I was excited to get this new job because I don't know anyone there and they don't know that I've lost a ton of weight. To them, I'm just a girl who looks like an average girl. 


I figure it's bound to come up at some point, but when I'm ready to talk about it. Right? 


WRONG!!!!!


I sat down at a meeting yesterday morning at 9AM and there were brownies. Freakin' brownies. I was in shock. Donuts I would have expected, but brownies? Really?


Everyone grabs brownies and they are talking about how good they are and they keep offering me a brownie. 


I politely refuse. I use excuses: I'm not hungry, I don't want anything that sweet right now, It's too early for a brownie, etc, etc. 


My refusals were shot down every time. They told me that they love to eat at meetings, they always have food at meetings, they all love sweets, etc, etc...


But, they let me slide. They didn't force it on me. Thank goodness. 


Then an awesome thing happened. This very tall, big guy that works there looks at me and says, "You are very small and petite. How are you going to handle the people down at your location? They are going to walk all over you because you are so small." 


I told him my stock response, "Oh, no one messes with me. I'm pretty rough and tumble. I'm good at putting people in their place, even adults. If someone wants to talk down to me or push my buttons, they can, but they are messing with the wrong person." In my head I was thinking, you just called me petite and small? Awesome. 


Later we were in a different meting and everyone starts talking about going to lunch and what our schedule should be at our office and classrooms. 


I just said, "Don't worry about me for food. I'll always pack a lunch and as far as schedule I just require frequent restroom breaks. I drink a lot of water." 


Then all the questions came....why don't you want lunch, what's the deal with water, why didn't you eat a brownie at the other meeting?


I told them everything in a very abridged version: I eat every three hours, I drink a gallon of water a day, I workout 5 to 6 times a week, I count protein and calories, eating at restaurants is nearly impossible, and I've lost about 100 pounds because of everything I just mentioned. 


For some reason no one really had anything to say. I'm not surprised. I don't really care that they were all pretty silent about it, but I know that they won't bother me about going to lunch and why I'm not eating the brownies at our meetings!

Randomness and wingspans.

I really have nothing major to talk about these days. Everything has been really routine lately. I'm been following the meal plan to a T and I've been working out like a maniac again. 


However, I have had just weird random things/conversations going on. 


I need everyone to check this for me too. Really, after you read this you are going to grab your tape measure and check. 


Basically, Kelly was talking about my long torso. I do have a long torso. She just recently noticed it too. Then we talked about how I was a competitive swimmer while I was growing up and maybe that has something to do with it...and my freakishly strong thighs...and hyper extended knees. Then we  both mentioned to Michael Phelps has a really long torso and wondered if he had freaky strong inner thighs too....


Then I mentioned his wingspan being longer than he is tall and Kelly told me that she loved that I used the word "wingspan". (I know the second part of the sentence had nothing to do with the story, but it was funny.)


After that Kelly wanted to measure my wingspan. 


I am 62 inches tall (5'2") and I knew that, but my wingspan is 66 inches (5'6"). Kelly immediately called me a freak and then made me measure her wingspan. Her height and wingspan are the same; both 66 inches. 


After that Kelly chased me around her house with her arms outstretched wanting us to compare wingspans because they were the same. She was yelling at me that this was the only thing we had in common because I'm so short...(Yea, we were alone. No one with us. This is really typical behavior for us.)


When I've told everyone else about that story they all keep asking if Kelly and I had been drinking. Actually, when I told Janelle she said, "Oh Sarah, did you mess up your meal plan and drink with Kelly?" I told her absolutely not and Kelly had not been drinking either. I told her that was an entirely typical day for Sarah and Kelly!


Janelle and Ashley measured their wingspans too. Both of them have an equal height and wingspan. 


I need to know! Is it a swimmer thing? A me being a freak thing? What is your wingspan and height? 


Oh....and it is really hard to crush a watermelon with your thighs. But that's a story for another day. 

Random workout pictures

Yesterday we decided that it would be the outside work out day. It was nice weather and sunny so we figured we better get in some more days outside before it really does get to that crappy fall weather. 


Nothing particularly interesting has been going on lately so I figure that random pictures will do just fine!

Janelle working hard
and jumping on things.

This is how Ashley prefers to workout.
In her defense, it did take effort to move
that swing!

And there's Janelle...
still working hard!

This was my preferred workout for the morning!

This is where our evening started.
Turbo wandering around in a puddle.
And then there was a huge, huge spider
and we ran away...

Rebel! He was my walking pal for the night!

Rebel getting caught up in his leash.
This is a common thing for him. 

Trying to get the leash situation under control. 

Still fixing the leash...

Oh look! Here we are walking!

Ohhhh, we're still walking!

I need to go to a dream interpreter.

No joke, I have been having the strangest dreams lately. Last night was no exception. 


I was dreaming that I was packaging my jeans and mailing them to my friends to prove my pant size. I don't know why I was doing this, but I was using the pants that I currently wear and sending them to people. Apparently that was the only way to get my point across. Just telling them wasn't enough. 


I wonder what the hell all of that means? 


I told Janelle and Ashley about it at the gym today. Ashley kept asking, "What pants are you going to wear if you are sending your pants to people?"


I didn't have an answer for her. I just don't know. I guess in my dream I decided that pants were no longer needed. Or maybe my friends were going to send them back once they saw the size. I just have no clue. 


On an unrelated note, I went to a charity auction last night. It was for a good cause, but on the auction block were local bachelors. There were a lot of hot fellas running around too. I think if I had a few hundred dollars to donate to charity I would have bid on some of them. It was more of a silent auction, but it was still a good time. 


I was really out of my comfort zone though. I'm not one for striking up random conversation with random men. It takes me a little bit to warm up to people. (Ok really, my philosophy is that "I nothing you" until I find a reason to like or not like you. It's true, you can ask anyone.)


But, my point about last night is that I looked damn good. I feel like I looked better than at least half the ladies running around there. (I totally forgot to take pictures last night.) I also had a little more dignity than most of them too. Probably because I wasn't drinking.

It's really not that cold....

I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem. 


Before I started all this weight loss mubo jumbo I was never, ever cold. If anything I was hot. I never wore a coat in the winter unless it was like in the negative degrees and my AC was on by late April. 


Last October was when I noticed something new....I was freezing. I could not even warm myself up in any way, shape, or form. I remember it was Halloween and it was like 4o something degrees and I was standing outside in a sweatshirt with a blanket wrapped around my whole body. I was shivering and could not warm up. I knew it was going to be a long winter. The best thing I did last winter was by knee high socks. I wore them under everything and they really help. 


This summer I did not turn my AC on until July when it was 95 degrees with the heat index in the 100's. I was not as hot this summer as in the past. I'm ok with that though because it saved on my utility bills! 


But.....


The past week or so it's been a little cooler. It's been like high 70's during the day and low 60's at night. Guess who is already freezing? 


That's right.....me. I have been out on two different nights, hanging out on patios at local bars, and freezing my butt off. The one night I was wearing a sweater and jeans too. I was shivering....absolutely shivering and getting made fun of my everyone. 


If I'm this cold when it's like 60 something degrees at night what am I going to do when it's like November or December......or worse, January? I'm going to need thermal underwear (I thought about calling them long johns, but I didn't know if everyone would know what they were!)


And if I'm cold now, what am I going to do when I reach my goal weight? Am I going to have to wear a parka everywhere I go? I hope not, I hate coats.....which reminds me, I'm going to need to buy a coat!

Just a few newer pictures

Here are a few recent pictures. They are all wedding related in some way (Not my wedding, no, no, no....not mine! Just some other wedding things and wedding related things) I was really just trying to find some updated pictures to put up on here.....these are the best I could find. 

This is from a wedding in July.....
What can I say? I was having a
good time!

A bridal shower from last weekend.
Our team won the toilet paper
wedding dress game. 

My team making me look like
the best toilet paper
wedding dress model ever!

From the same bridal shower,
minus the awesome toilet
paper wedding dress!

What a weekend.

I had the opportunity to take a ton of pictures yesterday, but have not had the opportunity to go through them yet. I will find some to post; I promise. 


I survived my day of Bridal Showers, Bachelorette Parties, and High School Reunions. All of these events were done very well and I had a good time at all of them. 


At my reunion I had a lot of people asking why I wasn't drinking or eating. I gave the abridged version of events, workouts, and meal plans to way too many people. I did not give into any temptation, but there were a few times I could have used a drink. (We needed name tags! I was struggling to remember names. There were about 480 in my graduating class.) I did get a lot of "Holy crap, look at you" comments. (Yea for me, I'm awesome.)


It was a little different with the Bachelorette party. Many of the Bachelorette's friends are from college. I know her from WAAAAAYYYYY back in elementary school. Her and the Maid of Honor know my whole deal with eating and working out these days. They've seen the transformation. (The Maid of Honor didn't recognize me earlier in the day at the Bridal Shower.) So the other girls didn't have a clue what I was doing and why I wasn't drinking. They just wanted everyone to have a good time and the were kinda pressuring me. I got the whole, "Come on it's a special occasion! Don't you want to celebrate with your friend? Don't you want her to have a good time."


My response to that; dead sober I might add, "Yea, she's having a good time already. She knows why I don't drink. She knows I'm working my ass off. She respects it. She knows I'll make it up to her some day and believe me, I would love to be wasted with all of you nice ladies."


Then I got this comment, "But one night won't hurt."


Oh yes it will. I've learned that the hard way this summer too. There was no use in arguing or pleading my case. I just kept saying no. They had had a few drinks and wanted everyone to have a good time. I understand what they were trying to do, but I had to keep declining. 


Anyway, I got a late start today because I had a late night! I will get a chance to go through the pictures and find some cute ones to put up. 

A little of this and a little of that

This is really just an everything post. I don't really have anything specific that has been on my  mind. 


I've been on this new meal plan for a few weeks now and I know it's working because I have lost around 3 pounds and most that time I was not able to work out because of back problems or sinus problems. 


After not working out for nearly 2 weeks I feel like a little baby in the gym! I can't lift nearly what I was lifting. I have to work my way back up. That's probably why all the guys in the gym have been messing with me. I will just have to keep trying and get back to my regular routine soon enough.


This weekend is going to be incredibly busy. Well, Saturday is going to be really busy. I have a bunch of commitments. It's almost like every second of the day is scheduled. 


Oh, the biggest part of my day will be my high school reunion. Ten years....hard to believe, but I'm excited because I look awesome. I do look entirely different and everyone I see notices. I'm kinda looking forward to the comments.   :)


I'm hoping for a lot of photo ops over the weekend. I do need some new pictures. I haven't done one since May!

I swear the men at the gym are picking on me!

Ok, so I don't really think the men at the gym are picking on me, but they sure do bother me when I'm alone. I don't really know why they do it, but if I had to make an assumption, I think it's because I don't look totally like a typical gym person (even though I'm there 5-6 times a week). 


Here's a little background; summer is almost over so Janelle, Ashley, and I get busy getting ready for the school year to begin and cramming in any last minute things we wanted to accomplish during our time off. Our gym schedule gets all kinds of messed up and we have to go whenever we can fit it in. That means we are usually going at different times and going alone. 


Yesterday was one of the alone days for me. I was getting frustrated because no matter what I did some guy came over and got in my way. I know I'm short, but it's still hard to overlook me. I'll make my presence known! Yesterday I had to get snippy with a few guys too because they just wanted to be in my space and push me off of equipment that I was using. 


The one situation is hard to explain, but I'll give the shortest version I can. I was squatting and this other dude tried to squeeze his big 6'6" self into a space that was not going to be big enough to accommodate him and his crazy workout and me and my squatting. I was there first and I was trying to watch out for him, but he was not watching out for me. He ended up ramming his head into my bar that I was using for my squats. I said I was sorry, but I was there first! 


After that, another squat rack freed up and I moved to that one to do my lunges. I set everything up that I needed and then I ran off to grab a drink. It took like less than a minute. When I came back this older gentleman had put down his weight belt and protein shake on the squat rack, but he was yammering away to the guy who hit his head on my bar. I just started to do my lunges. 


This old dude walks over and tells me that he was getting ready to use that. I turned to him and said, "Actually, that's my stuff there, and I had just put this weight on here and ran to get a drink. I was here first. I have 3 more sets. After that it's all yours." 


He looked shocked. Oh well. I don't care. Then he said this, "Well, I guess you can use it. I guess I should put on my weight belt, or maybe I should put it on you." Then he reached over and tried to put the weight belt around my waist. I recoiled from him. No joke, I recoiled and gave a really nervous laugh. After that, he watched me do the rest of my lunges and it made me really uncomfortable!


I'm feeling a little creeped out now even retelling the story!


On a lighter note, I'm feeling better and I'm so happy to be back in the gym on my regular workout schedule. (Even if the creepsters are out in full force.)

It's recently occurred to me.

There are people everyday that ask how much weight I've lost. At this point I round up and I say, "almost 100 pounds in about the last year and half."


I get the craziest reactions from people. Mostly they are completely shocked and in awe. I usually say, "Well, I still have about 50 pounds to go." 


They are still in shock and they don't think that there is another 50 pounds to lose. Trust me, there is another 50 - 60 pounds to go. 


I've had to start looking at these 100 pounds in a different way. I just haven't felt like it's really that much weight. I'm not sure why I feel like that. I usually feel like I'm a little more than half way to my goal. 


I've had to step back and realize that 100 pounds is a lot of weight. I don't really even know how else to put it, but 100 pounds is a large amount of fat to lose. No wonder people are so shocked. 


This only occurred to me today while I was at work and one of my co workers asked me how much I've lost now. She was making such a huge deal out of it. I was just looking at her thinking that I still have a long way to go. I'm not where I want to be. 


She pointed out that most kids don't hit 100 pounds in weight until late elementary or middle school. 


Then I started thinking about it in terms of kids. I'd say I've lost about a 5th grader. I now realize that that is pretty impressive. 


By the time I'm to my goal I'll have lost the equivalent of a high school student. 

I just can't win right now!

My back...well it's mostly better. I've been able to workout, but I haven't done a full, heavy leg workout. I think I will try one tomorrow. I never thought I would miss squatting. (It's funny how things change over time.)


My new problem? Oh, my sinuses are out of control! My face is so congested that it's hard to even think! Why couldn't my sinuses do this the other week while I was laying on the floor healing my back? 


All this sinus pressure has really gotten me down too! I have not been able to put my full effort and energy into my workouts. (Yea, I've still been at the gym. Probably not the best idea, but I'm so tired of sitting around!)


I'm hoping if I lay on the couch for the rest of the day that I will feel better tomorrow! 


So, the meal plan is still going well. I'm getting used to planning my meals around a certain amount of protein. I'm eating less calories again, but there is so much protein that I'm always super full. Sometimes when I realize it's time to eat I kinda wanna cry because I'm not sure how any more food can go into my belly. I've been losing weight though, so I'm know I'm still doing something right!


Oh and....totally off topic. I had a goal to go to this indoor rock climbing place in my town. Well, the real goal was to do it this summer, but I think I'm going to do it on my birthday which is coming up in September. It's a Saturday this year too, so I think more people will have the opportunity to tag along. 

What a week!

So, I've been on my new meal plan for just over a week now. It's really working out well. My back is better, but still not 100%. 


I've been able to do some working out this week. I've not really been able to do anything with legs and lower back, but I've done some nice upper body stuff. I've gotta tell ya, after a week of not being able to workout or walk I'm super sore. I kinda like that though. It makes me feel like I've done something. 


I also watch my nephew all day today. He's only 2 1/2 years old. He's a bundle of energy so I spent my fair share of time running around and swimming at the pool today. I still have to do my regular workout too. I'm totally wiped out. I know it's Friday, but I can't wait to go to bed!

Just a quick question...

Why in the world would EMPLOYEES of the GYM stand around in the front lobby and eat BOWLS OF ICE CREAM FROM COLDSTONE? And....and....talk about how good it is? 


Honestly, I've never understood why they are allowed to eat anywhere other than their break room because they eat like shit! Fast food galore in that place. My gym is so janky....but you can't beat the price. 

I totally stole her thunder

Last weekend I went to a baby shower. Actually, it was like a baby shower/open house thing for a friend of mine. She wanted everyone female and male to come hang out. 


I was still out of it from my back being messed up and being all hopped up on pain killers so I just now realized what happened while at the shower. (I think I'm finally out of my fog from the meds.)


I walked in, and I felt like a zombie. I hardly even recognized the people I was looking for, one of them being my own sister. So, I finally see my sister, brother in law, and some friends that I haven't seen in MONTHS. 


I didn't even get to say hi because these friends were all commenting about ME! Here are some of the things I remember hearing:


"Oh my god, where did the rest of you go?" (to that my brother in law responded, "We buried it in the back yard."
"Has it been that long since we've seen you?"
"I didn't recognize you."
"I was wondering who was walking up the driveway."
"Holy shit."
"What the hell happened to the rest of you?"


I could not even formulate responses to anyone because I was really out of it. (Looking back, I probably shouldn't have driven....oops.)


So the pregnant friend was standing there too and she even said she didn't recognize me either, and she does my hair so I know she's seen me in the last 3 months. Then she made a (joking) comment about it being her party and she's the pregnant one. I was able to chuckle a little at that before sitting in the corner and trying to hide the fact that I was totally jacked up on pain meds. 


Now that I'm out of the fog I can see that situation more clearly, and I totally stole her pregnant thunder by having lost so much friggin' weight! 

Update!

I'm a little late in updating my pounds lost and inches lost for July. I'm back on track, but I'm still trying to make up for lost time. I also lost a week of working out because of my back issue; which, by the way, is much better. I was able to lift today....thank God. 


Ok, so I lost 3 pounds. This means I've lost 93 pounds since I started all of this in January of 2010. I'm kind of disgusted by that though. It should have been more. I was on track for the whole month, except for one day. I guess the damage from that day was a lot, because I'm not moving forward. This month will be better. 


Now for my inches lost...I'm a little happier by this. I lost 8.5 inches from my usual measurements. That means I've lost a total of 73 inches since January 2010. I guess I've never really said what measurements I use and I should probably tell everyone. I go for the upper arm, bust, waist, abdomen, hips, and thighs. 


Also, I've been on the new meal plan for almost a week. I'm doing good. It's been an adjustment to count the protein before my calories, but I'm getting the hang of it and I'm sure I'll be able to plan meals in my sleep after a few more days. 


...and as always, my meal plans are made for me, based off my body composition, and the change about every 3 months.