Sunday, February 6, 2011

Here's the scenario.

            This is really about a silly conversation that Janelle and I were having at the gym, but it was really funny. It kind of became like a game, and now the topic of a blog.

            Zach is technically my trainer, even though he doesn’t come to the gym with us. He gives us our workouts and we do them on our own. He doesn’t even belong to the same gym as the rest of us. I know I say this all the time, but the gym I go to is great for people watching and this is how the conversation started. Janelle simply said, “I wonder what Zach would think of all these people. I wonder what he would do if he heard some of the things that we hear?”

            I told Janelle I knew exactly what he would do. He would probably tell them that they are dumb, but he would also be too preoccupied telling us what to do. Between sets we sit on the ground, lean on walls, or sit on other equipment. Zach would probably say something like, “You sat on the equipment, now you have to use it…you’re leaning on that wall, do some pushups…you’re standing around, jog in place.” Janelle and I were cracking up and could hardly do our pull ups.

            So, we wondered what Zach would be like in other situations if he acted like a trainer all the time. You could really play this scenario game with any trainer because they all have that same attitude when they are working with people/clients. You know, that give 100% the entire time attitude? Clearly, I know that Zach or other trainers wouldn’t act like this all the time, but what if they did? Here’s what I think it would be like.

  1. What if we took Zach, the trainer, to the Fair?
    1. Fair food would be out because he would demand to know the nutrition content. Of course, the Carnies wouldn’t know the nutrition content and Zach would tell them they should probably lay off the stuff because they are looking a little thick around the middle.
    2. If we play games he would tell us what muscle groups each game worked and if we played the Sriker game (the one where you use the sledge hammer to hit the plate to see if you can make the ball go up and ring the bell) we would have to keep playing until we hit the bell.
  2. What if we took Zach, the trainer, to a concert?
    1. Well, alcohol would be out. I don’t even think I have to explain this one!
    2. While we would be waiting for the concert to start, Zach would make us run up and down the stairs of the stadium to burn more calories.
    3. To keep us from standing around while the concert is going on he would have us do dips on the edge of our chair or jog in place.
    4. While sitting in the crowded parking lot after the concert he would have us do some kind of drills outside of the car, instead of just sitting in the car waiting for traffic to move.
  3. What if we took Zach, the trainer, to the grocery store?
    1. He would make us jog up and down the isles while pushing the cart.
    2. He would pick up items off the shelf and quiz you about the nutrition information and you can only get the food when you know the nutrition information.
    3. He would check your reflexes by throwing some food items to you in rapid succession. Again, you could only keep the items that you catch.
    4. He would make you do a burn out before leaving the store and make you run up and down every isle. When you get to the end of each isle, you have to do 10 pushups and this is done non stop.

These are just some silly scenarios that I came up with to entertain myself. For some reason though I think I’m going to avoid going with Zach to any of these places. I’m worried that some of these things might happen if I do! Oh, by the way, Happy Birthday, Zach. I hope you enjoyed these scenarios!


  1. Hi,

    I just found your blog through a link on someone else's blog.

    I really enjoy reading yours :) I like your take on things and your writing style!

    I'll be back! :)