Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm addicted to infomercials.

             I know I’ve previously said that Richard Simmons is my new obsession and that is true, but my real obsession is infomercials. Richard even started as an infomercial. I love infomercials, especially the workout ones. I’ve watched them all.

            I started watching them out of boredom. I’m an early morning person and even the best cable in the world doesn’t have anything on before 8 AM on the weekends. They all show infomercials. I also fanaticized about being one of those people who successfully lost weight and kept it off from doing one of the programs I would watch. I also wanted to buy all of them, and sometimes I buy the cheap ones that would end up in Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I know that I shouldn’t buy them or even want to because I know that I don’t have to motivation to work out “in the privacy of my own home”. I need the gym and the gym needs me.

The key to Insanity

            I couldn’t stop watching the P90X and Insanity advertisements. They were amazing with all their talk of “muscle confusion” and “max interval training”. I love how the people in the Insanity commercial can’t think of any other way to describe the workout besides, “insane”. I love how they try to convince you that you can’t get results in the gym and ask you if you are tired of tedious, time consuming workouts.

The best thing to do
 in an Ab Lounger

            I also love to watch the ones advertising ab machines. The Ab Rocket, Ab Circle Pro, The Ab Lounger, The Bender Ball, The Ab Flyer, etc, etc…these commercials are amazing. There is so much information to get from every one of them, and they all have conflicting information about abdominal workouts. One wants you on the floor, one wants you standing, one wants you in a chair, and one talks about making your core muscles fire faster than the others, but they are all confusing. A good friend of mine bought the Ab Lounger as a late night internet shopping impulse buy. I asked her how it was working out for her, and her response was, “Well, I’m lounging in the Ab Lounger.” I think she uses it as a lawn/camp chair. The Ab Circle Pro looks like a carnival ride more than anything, but it looks like fun and want to try it.

            My sisters bought the Shake Weight for one of my other sisters. It was more of a joke than anything. We were all curious to see what it was like. I’m not gonna lie, there is no way to not look like you are an aspiring porn star while using it. There is even a video that goes with it, and it is scary. The angle that they record the woman at is not flattering to her and she looks like an anorexic giant…if that’s even possible.

            Fluidity Bar…yea, I bought it. It’s pretty cool, but I don’t use it. Iron Gym Pull up Bar…bought that too, but I bought that for the unruly teenagers in my class. They used it when they were upset and needed to blow off steam. I do like it, I’ve gotten good use out of it.

            Growing up we had a Nordic Track, Total Gym, and later we even had a Bow Flex Ultimate. All of those actually got some decent use through the years though by me or someone in the family.

            I don’t know what it is about the infomercials that draw my attention. Maybe it’s the promises they make, maybe it’s how excited everyone is, or maybe it’s the “patented technology” or “new exercise breakthroughs” they all promise. I know for sure that I love the acting in infomercials. I love how they show how hard it is to lift a weight, do a sit up, or even fit into clothes. I love how they struggle to do anything before they get whatever is being sold. Then I love how they use whatever product is being advertised and they suddenly have excellent form and strength.

            I usually watch them in the morning and then go to the gym and tell Janelle and Ashley all about them. Janelle just laughs and tells me to stop watching them and Ashley wants to know why I’m always up so early. Lately I keep telling them about the Brazil Butt Lift infomercial. This guy claims to be “the secret behind supermodel booties” and he uses his “patented triangle training”. I think this guy is a creep. I think he probably touches people inappropriately.

            If I could just sleep later into the morning, I bet I would miss all of the infomercials and this problem would go away! Until then, people around me are going to have to listen to me talk about the awesomeness of these commercials.