Friday, January 14, 2011

Oh, the things you hear at the gym, part 1.

         That’s right; I’m already naming this as part 1, because I know there is more material for this than I could possibly write at one time. So, at the gym you see all kinds of people and hear all kinds of conversations. Now, most of the conversations you hear are about working out, diets, and what works or doesn’t work. Basically, I’m going to list some of the awesome tid bits I’ve heard over the past few years. These handy tid bits also come from employees talking to members and members talking to members.

*** CAUTION: DO NOT FOLLOW ANY OF THIS ADVICE, IT’S AWFUL!***

  1. You can eat ANYTHING you want as long as you drink a glass of water when you are done. (Ok, I just have to make it known that an employee was saying that to a member. I have to tell you that because when Janelle told Zach he was like, “No, you’re lying. No one is that stupid. No one would believe that.” He refused to believe someone would say that.)
  2. You can never rest once you start working out, because you don’t burn calories unless you are sweating. 
  3. Get your heart rate high and don’t let it drop. If it doesn’t stay high, you might as well not even work out.
  4. Apparently, when learning to do squats, it is best to have someone stand behind you in a squatted position and then you squat into their lap. That is so you can feel how low to go. “Just keep squatting, until your butt and thighs touch the top of my thighs.” Yea, that guy doesn’t work at the gym anymore. I wonder why?
  5. A great way to work out your legs and butt is to bend over, grab your ankles, and bounce your butt up and down. That was the advice from the guy in number 4 too. Pervert.
  6. The key to weight loss is not lifting heavy weights, but lifting light weights while in awkward positions. This way the muscles are confused and it makes them “fire” faster. (Ok, that was on E! New, but it was too good to not share.)
  7. Never, ever, ever work out two days in a row. Even if you are working on different body parts from one day to the next, it’s no good. You have to rest for a day, or maybe two, between every workout.
  8. Only eat 20 carbs for whole week and do this every week. 
*** AGAIN, FOLLOW NONE OF THIS ADVICE. IT CAME FROM PEOPLE WHO  HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT!*** 

5 comments:

  1. Tadaaaaaaaaaaaa guess who's got an award !! Yes, you don't do the whole following or weight loss journey thing, but it's rude to reject awards. Hahaha lol

    So come get it !!

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  2. These were freaking hilarious. God, the weird things you can pick up at gyms (including apparently creepy guys...yikes!) :)!! Thanks for stopping by and posting, as embarrassing as it may be my weight is the truth, and if I don't throw it up there for all you to see I won't deal with it myself! You look as though you've done some serious damage in the gym you look damn good in your latest pic girl!

    Hope to hear more from you, I'll def. be following your non-journey! (haha, yeah I read your first post and totally see where you're coming from...weight loss blogs totally capitalize on the cheese factor of our "journeys" and "finding ourselves"...but I happen to like a little cheese (a lot actually, and not just the metaphorical kind if you couldn't tell..)

    Good luck and keep workin' hard!
    Bella

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  3. Thanks Bella! I'm not really into finding deep thoughts behind why things happen! I like things to be pretty blunt and straight forward!

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  4. LOL don't crack me up today! Thanks for the laugh.

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