Against my better judgement I tried Zumba.....for 10 minutes. It's all I could tolerate.
Ok, I'm not a dancer. I'm not coordinated. I don't follow dance steps. I need to go slower and take more time. I don't feel energetic. I don't want to shake my ass, jump in the air, and wave my arms around.
I tried to leave before we even started when the instructor was calling out the steps to a new dance/song they were going to be doing.
Ok, let me back up.....Ashley asked if we would go Zumba. I was hesitant, but Janelle reminded me that I would probably burn a ton of calories. I'm all about burning the calories. She also said we were sure to have fun....yea, right.
I tell Kelly that this is all going down tonight and she says that she wants to go because she has been trying to get me to go to Zumba for a long time.
When we were standing around waiting for the class to begin I started having that panic feeling that I didn't want to be there. I can't quite explain it, but it's an overwhelming feeling I get when I start to feel uncomfortable. (I guess it's like that fight or flight attitude) I just start saying that I want to leave and I'll just walk while they are taking the class.
I tried to grab my keys a few times and leave, but Ashley kept grabbing my arm to make me stay. Kelly kept calling me a baby. Janelle kept telling me the class hadn't even started, I needed to give it a try, and no one cares what I look like.
All I know is, I had to get the eff out of that room. I'm sure no one does care what I look like while doing the Zumba crap, but I care. I know they could care less what I look like, but to me everyone is staring at me and I just can't stand that thought. I love to be the center of attention if I'm comfortable with what I'm doing. I was not comfortable even standing in that room with all those other people in there.
So, I tried to leave again, and I was stopped. I love my friends, but I was about to flip out on them. I had to get out of that room.
The class started and I could not follow what was happening. I was so frustrated. They all keep telling me to try and I'm not even putting in any effort.
I don't know how to put effort and energy into something that I can't even follow. I was miserable. I can't even explain how miserable. I was also frustrated. I'm one of those people that will rarely, rarely cry, unless I'm frustrated. I was so frustrated that I finally just told them I was going to get water. I never went back. (Ok, I stayed for like 1.5 songs)
I just got on the treadmill and then the bike and waited for them to finish up. Ashley came out at one point and tried to get me back in there.
I don't know why I would want to do a workout that does nothing but frustrate me. I felt nothing exciting or fun about the time I was in there. It was awful. I'm upset just thinking about it now.
They can think I was being a baby all they want. I know the real reasons that I left. I don't feel the need to explain myself and why I didn't want to be there. I will not ever do that again either. I would rather lift.