Temptations

             Eating every three hours is actually easy to do. I can plan all of my meals the night before and I know exactly what I’m going to have and when I’m going to have it! However, there are tricky times.

            When I walk into work and I realize that it is a carry-in day; my heart usually skips a beat. I panic a little because carry-ins have the best snack foods. People bring brownies, taco dip, meatballs, cheese balls, etc, etc, etc. I usually stare longingly at the food; thinking about what I’m going to eat and how delicious it’s going to be, and then I decide to eat none of it.

            Now, most people would be able to eat a tiny amount of these things and be ok, but not me. I know that if I eat a little, I will keep going back. It is like the snowball effect. It will just get out of control. I have to walk away from all of it and that is when I know that my self control is at a ridiculously high level.

It’s also a mixed bag of feelings after that too. I’m really proud of myself for passing up the temptation, but them I’m pissed that I can’t have any. I start to run through all the typical thoughts:

1. Everyone else can do it, why can’t I?
2. I’ll just have a taste.
3. Stupid meal plan…I should just go back to being fat and eating what I want.
4. Oh my god, why am I having these thoughts. I think I’m addicted to food!

I really think I am addicted to food. I love food, it’s no secret, but I even think about food when I’m not eating. Sometimes as I’m eating, I’m thinking about the next time I’m going to eat and what I’m going to eat! I think that’s insane behavior.

The worst temptation is when I’ve had a bad day and I really don’t want to cook; I just want to go get some delicious fast food. I just want to go home and do nothing but eat. Before the meal plan I would go get fast food and not worry about the day. Now, I have no choice, bad day or not I’m making my own meals, dirtying my dishes, and cleaning when I’m done. That does nothing but make my day worse. Who wants to clean when they’ve had a bad day? Not me! I just want to lie around and do nothing!

No matter what, there are always going to be temptations around, and for the rest of my life I’m going to imagine myself stuffing my face with delicious, fatty, deep fried foods. Then I’m going to have to snap back to reality and get on my way. I just don’t think a Whopper with cheese is in my near future.