Knockers

            Remember when Myspace was cool? Before teenagers took it over? Before everyone was super concerned about privacy settings? This is a quick story of why I made my profile private and to lead into this blog….

            I received a Myspace email message from some creepy guy. I’ll try to type it verbatim since I remember it to this day. The message said, “DDDaaaaaaammmmmnnnnnnn…..look at them tig ol’ biddies!” Most people would be offended, appalled, even terrified. I was none of those things. Instead, I thought, “I know. They are huge. Thanks for reminding me,” as I was blocking this guy and finding the privacy settings for my profile. I told my buddy, Joe, about it and we still laugh about it today.

Not the Myspace picture in question,
and Jake really took this picture on purpose!
December 2009

            “Knockers” is a nick name I picked up on Junior High, for obvious reasons. That name has stuck with me since that time. The same group of friends that called me that when we were kids still call me that today, but sometimes it is shortened to “Knocks”. The name has never bothered me, but now that I’m losing all of this weight, I’m hoping the nick name will not be so accurate.

            Most women say they lose weight in their chests first. I was excited about that, but it didn’t happen for me. I would tell Janelle that something was wrong because they weren’t shrinking like everyone said they would! In fact, Kelly kept telling me that they were looking bigger as my waist was getting smaller. I thought I was going to be stuck with all those D’s forever.

           

            Out of no where one morning, I realized I had lost a D. I won’t tell you how I came to this realization, but it was like Christmas morning. I was so excited that I had to tell someone. I busted into the gym that day and I think it was the first thing I told Janelle about. I don’t really remember the conversation, but I’m sure she was a little freaked out by my crazy remarks about a shrinking chest. (I say a lot of things that freak out Janelle. I think she is learning to handle my odd stories and foul mouth.) It was a huge moment for me. At that point none of the other weight loss mattered, because my chest was officially shrinking, and that was a huge personal victory.

            Just the other day, Kelly, was in my laundry room. She grabbed a bra off the dryer and said, “Really, we’re still wearing bras this big?” Then she put in on her head like a bonnet. I told her that no one has done that in a long time; not for about 5 or 6 years when my friend, Ash, and I were living together. She would often do “bra bonnet” to make everyone laugh, and it was really funny. As big as Kelly thought that bra was, it was actually a size smaller than last year.

            The first picture Zach saw of me was from my sister’s wedding. According to Janelle, he was like, “Oh my…they’re taking over the picture,” and they were. They are getting smaller and I couldn’t be happier!

Janelle's show
October 2010

Sister's wedding
June 2009

Overall, I would just like to have a bra size that has only one letter in it. Some of my male friends think I’m insane for that goal, but they really have no clue. I tell them to haul them around for a day; then they’ll understand.