Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Feeling better

I was a little frantic last week about meal plans and workouts and the course of things happening. I think that last post freaked a few people out and made them worry (sorry, Janelle). I was really just in a funk. I have been sick a few times with the flu this year and it has really zapped my energy. I've had a hard time recovering and feeling back to my full energy.

I was talking about sabotaging myself last week. Part of me still thinks I'm trying to sabotage myself, but I really feel like it's just excuses. I'm not sure why I'm on this kick lately to find excuses for everything from eating to exercise. All I know is I need to stop. It's really mentally exhausting to fight with yourself all day. I know what I have to do, I know who to do it, and I know it works. So it baffles me that my mind is trying to fight me on this!

Basically, I've just decided that I have to stop the excuses. There is no reason for it. I have been doing this for over 2 years and I'm so close to being at my goal. It would just be so silly to give up or quit now when I'm almost there. I have to just keep telling myself that I've done all this work and I'm not going to throw it all away now.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

So close....

Maybe this happens with some of you as well....

Lately I feel like I'm falling off the wagon. I'm not really falling off the wagon, but I'm struggling to stick to my plan and workouts and what-not. I'm doing everything that I have to do, but I have to work much harder to make myself do it.

I'm trying to find reasons to skip the gym, I'm trying to find reasons to eat a restaurants more often, I'm trying to find reasons to not plan my meals and not count my calories. I'm still doing everything I have to do, but I'm totally having mental arguments with myself.

I think it's because I'm getting close to my target weight. I think I'm getting so close to the end that my twisted mind is tryin to sabotoge me!

That might sound totall crazy, but it's true. I want to get to my goal, my target, and maintain after that. I know the end is just around the corner, but it's like my mind is afraid of having another change and a little more freedom in food choice.

I tell my students all the time that when they feel themselves becoming succcessful that they sabotoge themselves. I talk to them about ways to stop doing that and to be successful and be confident in successful. I need to take some of my own adice right now!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Each compliment is better than the last

For a while I was running out of things to blog about. I refuse to make this blog my complain fest about the things that bother me, and sometimes that makes it difficult to find things to write and talk about.

Lately I've had more and more random encounters. Some are strange and some make me smile. I had a strange one happen yesterday and I might tell you about that at another time. For now, I'm going to tell you about a totally unexpected encounter.

Let me set the stage for you....

It's President's Day, so I don't have to work. I worked out a little while ago and I've just been laying here on the couch, watching Dexter, and hoping for something interesting to happen. Then.....

My phone dings. It's the "someone is chatting with you on FB ding" and I was excited to know that someone wanted to talk to me!

The message was from an old friend. We knew each other through high school and have maintained a lot of mutual aquaintances through the years. Oh, and he hangs out with one of my sisters. Back in the day he was really buff. He was super fit and super active. Over the years he had  a few injuries; which led to a few surgerys; which led to inactivity; which led to some weight gain.

Anyway, the following is the conversation that we just had.

FRIEND: Hey Sarah
ME: Hey man, what's up?
FRIEND: If you sis didn't ruin it, I wanted to tell you something
ME: ?
FRIEND: Because of you and your weight loss, I have lost 30 lbs so far and have kept it off
ME: Oh wow! That's awesome!
FRIEND: I am really proud of you and what you have done and for what it's worth I just wanted to let you know you made a difference for me
ME: Wow. That's awesome. Good for you man. It shouldn't be hard for you to workout, you used to do it all the time. It's really weird for people to say that I motivate them.
FRIEND: It's the motivation for me. But I've really just eaten less and pushed myself harder at work
ME: Hey, whatever works! I think I'm going to have to write a blog about this.
FRIEND: It'd be a good idea
ME: Yea...
FRIEND: I just wanted to let you know. I felt that I should have said something a long time ago to you
ME: No prob, thanks man.
FRIEND: You deserve it.

Anyway....that's my totally make me smile ear to ear conversation/compliment for the day. I love any compliment I can get, but they are always better when I don't see it coming and it's from somewhere and someone I wasn't expecting.

I literally got up right after we stopped talking to write this blog.

Sometimes I feel like a jerk for talking about myself all the time, but then I remember that it's MY blog and if I want to talk about myself, I can! Honestly, sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing and why I'm putting in all this work. I see the difference on the scale, in my clothes, and in my energy level, but I still get frustrated when I think of the things I've been giving up to get to where I want. Then I get compliments and people say how much they notice and it makes it all worth it. It's kinda weird that I have to hear it from other people before it sinks in what a change I've really made.

Anyway, thanks to this friend for remotivating me. He said I motivated him, but he also put some drive back into me. Thanks man.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Garage Gym

Zach has always wanted his own gym. He has been working his butt off to make it happen too. He has started to make it a reality these days. He has converted his garage into a gym. It's really freaking nice too. 

This has been in the works for a while. Janelle, Ashley, and myself have lovingly started calling it Garage Gym. I think Zach didn't like it at first, but now I hear that he's even referring to it as Garage Gym from time to time. 

Anyway, he got everything up and running a few weeks ago, but I was sick and my schedule has been so opposite of Janelle's that I have not had to the opportunity to get over there. Well, on Tuesday that all changed....

Garage Gym is awesome. I will hopefully get some pics today. 

Tuesday was also the first day I had ever worked out with Zach. He makes workouts and we do them and we push ourselves, but it was way, way, way, freaking different to do my workout with Zach right there. 

I did a different kind of pull up too. I'm still working on doing a pull up on my own. I have to use the assist machines and what-not. Zach made me use these big bungee band things. I thought they were going to spring me right though the ceiling, but I managed to hang on. 

Anyway, that one workout has caused me to be so sore that I don't even know what to do with myself. My arms and lats feel like they are going to fall off my body. It hurts to touch my arms or sides right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm sore, but I love it. I love to be sore after a workout. I know that I either really, really pushed myself or I did something I haven't done before. Tuesday was a combo of both. 

I'm not sure what it was, but having Zach in the room really made me work harder. I'm not sure what he thought because he doesn't say much, but I'm going to pretend that he smiled when no one was looking. 

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Let's play catch up.

I have really been off my blogging game lately. I have next to no time to read anything or write anything. Then that whole flu thing didn't help.

So this is like my totally jumbled together... potpourri if you will... blog.

Finally recovered from the flu. Totally passed it on to at least one friend. Hopefully no one else gets it. It did mess up my whole workout schedule. I was only able to life 3 times this week. I usually get 5 days of gym time.

On Friday I was at the gym trying to bust out a workout. This woman kept looking at me. I usually get annoyed by people and their random stares. (What can I say, I'm not very friendly.) I did recognize this lady though. I know I've talked to her before. She did approach me and told me that I looked great. She remembered me from about a year ago. I thanked her and all that business. I told her how much weight I had lost and her face totally contorted into this surprise/shock/awe/bewilderment (take you choice of expression) and she said, "You have totally refigured your body!" I really just had to laugh. I guess I have refigured my body. I love random compliments.

Well, then Saturday hit. I had a rough day. Hell, I've had a rough few weeks. I've been trying to figure out some feelings and emotional crap and it pretty much blew up in my face. This is why I typically like to stay emotionless. It works better. Anyway, decided to do something drastic.....drastic for me anyway. I decided to get drunk. I totally threw the meal plan into the wind and drank 4 beers. I'm not even lying, I was drunk. I don't drink anymore and it doesn't take much. It was totally worth it. Totally, totally worth it. I felt fa-freakin-tastic when I woke up today. I was worried about weighing myself today though, and I totally own up to my 4 beer bender. I don't often do anything like that these days.

At the gym this morning I did have to weigh myself. I was actually on the phone with Janelle when I weighed in. I was hoping to hit the official 120 pound mark, but I totally hit 122 pounds lost. I nearly crapped my pants. I told Janelle that I was going to start walking up to people and making them guess how much weight I've lost and then yell, "122 pounds" right in their faces. I did get in a good workout today and I'm back on meal plan track. Getting closer to this elusive goal weight.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I hate the flu

This will be short and sweet, because I feel awful. I was going to write a blog yesterday because I realized it had been about a week, but then I got the flu. It happened that fast too. I was thinking of things I needed to do and then almost immediately I was staring into my toilet. Great. 

Anyway, it hasn't lasted all that long, but I am wiped out. The flu is a bad thing for someone who eats on a schedule and eats certain calorie amounts every three hours. I do feel better today, but I'm just so tired. I'm also not eating that much food. Hopefully tomorrow I will be back to my regular schedule. 

This flu is also messing up my workout schedule. I'm not a fan of missing workouts. Yesterday I was trying to justify working out anyway, but then I would get off the couch and quickly realize that wasn't going to happen. 

But this does make me think of the movie The Devil Wears Prada when the other secretary gets the flu and makes the comment about being one flu away from her goal weight. That line always makes me laugh.