Monday, January 9, 2012

Really? I've been blogging for a year?

I was going to call this my One Year Bloggy Spectacular, but I couldn't really come up with anything too spectacular......I was hoping for glitter and balloons, but that's hard to pass on through a computer.

Today I have officially "blogging" for one year. It also means that I have been following meal plans for two years. It's hard to remember two years ago.

When I started following meal plans I was really unhappy with my job. I was in an awful position and I worked for awful people. (I almost hope that by some chance some of them have seen or heard about my blog and are reading it now. Yea, you know who you terrible AOD assholes....that's for everyone except 2 people who worked there and they know who they are.) Anyway, it was one of those jobs where you are afraid to do anything because your uneducated boss is always threatening your job if you don't do what they want, even if it's unethical and in some cases against the law. (Wow, that's more than I've ever said about any of my work on this blog.)

Anyway, I think when I did start the meal plan it was a way for me to take control of something. I felt like I had no control and counting calories and eating at specific times gave me something to focus on.

I decided I wanted to start a blog after about 6 months of following meal plans, but I wanted to wait until I was losing weight for a year. I'm not sure why it had to be a year, but I just felt like I had to prove to myself that I could follow meal plans and workout schedules. I didn't want to just start a blog and make no progress.

Last year when I started this I had a whole year of weight loss and progress to show for myself. Now, a year later, I have even more weight loss and progress to show for myself.

I've been thinking a lot for the past week about me and what I've done in the past 2  years. Some people tell me that I seem like a different person. I shrug my shoulders and tell them that I'm exactly the same; I just look different. My personality has not changed, but my thoughts about food and food choice have changed. My morals, ethics, goals, etc...have not changed, but how I choose to spend my time has changed....a little. I like to go to the gym, but I still like to go to coffee shops, I still like to hang out with friends, and I still like to go to the bar....I just choose to not drink (right now).

Overall, I'm still the same. I think now I'm just more willing to tell people what is on my mind. I'm still protective of my feelings. It's still hard to get to know me, because I don't make it easy. I don't like anyone when I first meet them, but I typically like everyone after I spend a little time with them, and if I don't like you, you'll know. I'll tell anyone anything about me, they just have to know to ask. These are things that have been true about me for as long as I can remember. Weight loss or not, that's just me.

Honestly, I'm a good, caring person and I know that. I always have been. I just seem scary; I'm really not. Don't get me wrong though....I'm politically incorrect when I speak, I make vulgar jokes, I use inappropriate language, I talk too loud, I laugh too loud, and I hate it when people tell me to smile.

So, those are some of the things I've been thinking about and wondering if I could see how people think I'm different. I was really analyzing my behaviors and I came to the conclusion that my personality is in tact like it always has been. I know losing over 110 pounds on your own is a big thing and a lot of people probably would re-evaluate what they've been doing with their lives after that. For me, if I was going to re-evaluate my personality or my life I would have done (and I did do it) after a bunch of other true life changing things that happened to me in my earlier 20s.

There is one thing I've noticed and that would be that I do feel slightly more confident, but I still want to disappear into the background in a room full of people I don't know. I don't have tip top confidence and I'm pretty sure I never will. I will always be a little leery of my looks and my style, but I think that's just natural. I guess we'll all know if I do have 100% confidence because I'll just walk around in a bikini everywhere I go and my blog posts will be pictures of me in bikinis with captions asking everyone to notice how good I look.

I really think that people want me to be different because I look different, but that shit's just not gonna happen.

I am gonna man up and post my Bod Pods. I think after two years of weigh loss I can suck it up and admit how much I did weigh, since I will never weight that much again.


  1. Um-did we work at the same place? My horrible boss might have scarred me from working ever again!

    I have to say-I have never noticed any HUGE changes in you all at once. I have however noticed your consistency and little by little these solid habits are there and keep me coming back for inspiration. Congrats woman-I have no doubt you'll surpass your goals & maintain a healthy life far into the future.

  2. You're amazing and you like yourself, and that is all that matters :)

    I have always like the insult 'I may be fat, but I can lose weight. You will always be an asshole'. Your overall personality does not change when you do lose weight. You have done an amazing job. Have you ever posted exactly what you have done to lose weight? You mention a meal plan and counting calories. So we might be doing something similar, but curious.

  3. Your work sounds JUST like mine. In fact, my goal this year to get the hell outta here. As far as being politically incorrect, I'm that girl too. I make jokes when things get tense and usually end up pissing more people off :D

    I love your blog and am so glad I found you!

  4. Congrats on your 1 year and all the amazing changes & progress you have done.
    I know people say I have changed too but I think it boils down to my confidence level and how I feel about myself.

  5. Happy Blogiversary!

    ".I'm politically incorrect when I speak, I make vulgar jokes, I use inappropriate language, I talk too loud, I laugh too loud, and I hate it when people tell me to smile."

    Are you my twin? haha!

    Seriously though, I'm a new follower, although i've read your blog for a week or so, and basically just wanted to say how fantastic you're doing and I wish you all the best for the next year of blogging.

  6. Congratulations on your anniversary and your weight loss. You have done an amazing job.

    "I didn't want to just start a blog and make no progress." Um, that is what I did. Hopefully, I will kick myself in the ass and make some progress in 2012.

    You look great!