So, here's a situation I keep ending up in...
I see someone I haven't seen in a long time...well, or someone I see often. They ask how I'm doing, how everything is going, how much weight I've lost, etc, etc. I respond, "Oh I've lost blah blah blah pounds over the past year and a half..."
Then I get this, in some various form,
"Wow, that's great. I think I've gained what you've lost."
"Wow, I think I've found all the weight you've lost."
"I wish I could lose weight."
"Good for you, I keep gaining weight though."
"I wish I had time to do what you are doing."
"How do you find time to lose weight?"
Anyway, you get the idea.
I love my friends, I love my family, I love when people notice that I've been busting my butt to lose weight. I don't love how the conversations become awkward like that. What am I supposed to say? I'm not going to be like, "Well, now that you've mentioned it....you have been gaining weight. Put down the beer and cheeseburger."
I'll explain to people what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. I give out Zach's email address. I tell people to contact him if they are serious. However, I don't like that you compliment me and then make me feel bad for you. I don't know what to tell you other than this;
It took me a long time to get the motivation to stick to a plan (eating and exercise). Sure, I trip up from time to time, but I always pick myself up and get back on track. The longer I do it, the more addicted to the lifestyle I become. You will make changes when you are ready. No amount of you standing here talking to me is going to motivate you. You have to do it on your own. I promise you, when you are ready it will happen. If you want to go on a walk, or swimming, or to the gym, let me know; I'll gladly go with you. Until then, give me the compliments I deserve and we'll deal with you later. (I'm pretty self-centered; it's ok, I know and so does everyone who knows me.)
I hate those conversations too. How should we respond? lol
ReplyDeleteExactly how do you respond? I hate when people say that stuff to me, although I use to stay stuff like that to others losing weight so I guess I can see how it's strange and awkward. This just happened to me the other day one of the ladies I use to work with was like yeah I've gained all that you have lost and going on about being big, all I could tell her is what I am doing to lose the weight, but yeah you wanna say stop eating junk food and get moving! But it makes for a very awkward situation.
ReplyDeleteMan I hate when people do that! When people ask me what made me want to lose weight I just get so baffled....urm, because I was fat!? I don't know what they're expecting me to say other than that!? I agree that people saying things like that just makes things so uncomfortable, there's just nothing you can say to them. And its definitely ok to be self-centred - I am as well!! :) xxxx
ReplyDeleteYou're right!I get that a lot too & it is SUPER ackward! I mostly just chuckle and say, "You know. I got serious about diet & exercise. That's really it. Eat less. Move more. Anyone can do that."
ReplyDeleteGood luck! You're doing great!
Sarah @ Thinfluenced
Here are some standby statements I use:
ReplyDelete"it's hard work but it is sooo worth it"
"Thanks for noticing. I decided it was time to do it."
"I know what you are going through, i was there too."
No, you are not going to make anyone lose weight. They do have to do it on their own and want it for themselves but you can offer them something. You offer hope to people who don't think it can be done. You can also offer empathy because you know where they have been. There is, however a fine line from showing support and encouragement and getting sucked into someone's pity party.
Just found your blog. You crack me up. I'd read more, but I have a Zumba class to get to. I'll be back!!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, you DO look amazing, I can't wait to read it all (i will try to get most.) I will not make you feel bad for me-- I know what I gotta do. Mojo comes from finding people & blogs like yours!